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December 11, 2009

Dear Henry

When we saw Henry Rollins speak a few ten years ago, he told a story about a fan who wrote to him with a peculiar problem. Seems the guy is a paramedic and one night they come upon a car crash where a beautiful naked woman is lying on the ground unconscious. They spring into action, get her in the back of the ambulance and begin emergency resuscitation. Now, the guy is alone in the back of the ambulance with the woman, and he can’t get over how hauntingly beautiful she is.

And she’s not responding. All her vitals were failing and he knows she’s not going to make it. As she expires, the paramedic, who had suddenly and quickly developed feelings for her, kisses her on the lips. By the time they reach the hospital, the woman is dead. Trouble is, the paramedic is now completely in love with her. So much so he can’t sleep, he can’t eat and he’s having trouble working.

Rollins said his first reaction was to write back, “YOU SICK $@#!!! GO KILL YOURSELF!” But no, the paramedic’s obviously in pain and obviously needs his help. So he thinks about it for awhile and attempts to seek out helpful advice. That night at some awards ceremony he runs into none other than Tom Waits and figures if anyone has some words of wisdom for the poor, lovestruck — but slightly demented — paramedic it would be Waits.

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