December 3, 2009


How To Cook A Fucking Steak

Pretty straightforward, really. To start:

Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery. A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you pussy. You want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally conscious, go ahead, I don’t give a shit, just get a fucking steak.

posted by Andrew Simone in food 

comments

13 Responses to “How To Cook A Fucking Steak”

  1. Kathy Hilen-Smith on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Love how this- Beringer’s 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if you’ve taken care to let it breathe a bit before quaffing. -is tucked in there at the end. Outstanding.

  2. Libby on December 3rd, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Awesome. Got a big kick out of that.

  3. Michael Grant Smith on December 3rd, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Dinner at Chez Smith, you fucks.

  4. Sheila Ryan on December 3rd, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    We’re no pussies. We’re up for it.

  5. Rick Neece on December 3rd, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    Beringer’s 1996 fucking fuckity Napa fuck Private fucking Reserve? That’s dick drool you cocksuckers! FUCK that shit! Pabst, you pussies! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

  6. Sheila Ryan on December 3rd, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    Ricky Cameron!

  7. Rick Neece on December 3rd, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    *snort*

  8. Andrew Simone on December 3rd, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Well played, Rick. Well played.

  9. Dave Vogt on December 3rd, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    dick drool? is that like cocksnot?

  10. Dave Vogt on December 3rd, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    Also why don’t urban dictionary definitions show up in google’s define:word feature?

  11. Rick Neece on December 3rd, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    Cocksnot is better, Dave. Assonance is better than alliteration. The vowel is deeper. (–Gordon Lish. Paraphrase, I’m sure.)

  12. Kathy Hilen-Smith on December 4th, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Gordon Lish ever say cocksnot ya think?

  13. Cindy Scroggins on December 4th, 2009 at 10:52 am

    I’m betting he hasn’t. But I’m pretty sure he’s eaten dinner with people who have.

    Sorry, fucking dinner.

Leave a Reply