December 23, 2009
What I learned today while shopping
I take some paid time off the day before Christmas Eve and do about 95% of my shopping — with clarity and focus. No desperation gifts, just the rendered essence of giving; a reduction sauce of I hope you like this. I enjoy the day.
Did you know?
- After they have loaded groceries into their car, Trader Joe’s customers return empty shopping carts to the store instead of leaving them in the parking lot.
- Guitar Center makes buying musical instrument accessories as cool as a trip to Home Depot.
- Liquor stores could close January through March thanks to all the business they do this week.
- I took a little break and had some coffee. Newspapers are now printed on 15% smaller paper or I am 15% bigger.
- When they pull out into traffic, motorists in Miamisburg near the Dayton Mall will aim for your car.
- I’ll punch you in the neck if you say you have more Christmas spirit than I do. Fuck you.
comments
Leave a Reply
Michael Grant, I’m sure I have no more Christmas spirit than you. I plan to go to Walgreen’s tomorrow morning. I have promised to spend no more than thirty dollars on gifts. I will be looking for things that surprise my giftees. Simple and light little somethings that might take one’s breath away in their simplicity and light. I might be there a while. Or I might be there thirty seconds.
Y’all, it is the only way to shop for Christmas. Make it swift, and go for shock and awe.