January 25, 2010
Corporations rock the vote
I’m a big fan of modest proposals:
I’m highly impressed with your recent decision to vaporize limits on corporate political spending. It’s the kind of campaign finance reform our ailing res publica needs. In fact, I found it so inspirational, here’s an even better idea.
Let’s give corporations the right to vote. One share, one vote. The logic? It’s simple. Corporations are people; all people are created equal; ergo, corporations must have equal rights — and no right is more important than the right to vote. (Well, maybe the right to buy fully automatic machine guns, but that’s another story).
Goldman Sachs, for example, has 514,080,000 shares outstanding — so they’d get 514 millon votes (in fact, maybe we should give them more, because they’re so smart). Ford has 3.31 billion shares outstanding, so they’d get approximately 2.8 billion more votes than Goldman.
Of course, we won’t have achieved parity until Bank of America can get crotch-cupped at the airport.
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Would the shareholder get to cast the vote or the board of the company? I’m asking because I might be entitled to a few extra votes. Can I choose which state to cast them in? I’m thinking Florida.
Bank of America needs their crotch cupped. Then tugged slightly downwards to provide sufficient tension for the knife to make a clean cut.