January 14, 2010
Meet The Flockers: Josh Weichhand
Okay, let me just get out my index cards… (clearing throat).
Greetings to the greater Clusterflock community, flockers, readers, Christopher Walkens, etc. My name is Josh Weichhand and I’m the newest addition to the Flock. Thanks for opening the door.
Before moving on, I should take a moment to acknowledge Mr. Andrew Simone, who had more than a bit part in bringing me here.
Now a bit about myself:
Origins:
My surname is German — very German — and pronounced Why-Hand. Supposedly, we’re a rare breed (there’s only 34 of us or so in the world’s entirety). My grandparents told me our name means we have “soft hands.” This was supposedly meant as a compliment.
Interests:
I’m something of a communication apologist, immersing myself in critical theory and discursive studies in college. Someday I plan on going to grad school for semiotics or some such wet dream. Yet I’m a simple man with a simple existence. I like my beer cheap, my whiskey old and my public transit efficient. I’m a believer in footnotes, index cards, English gin, Thai food, used books and old typewriters. I collect my thoughts here.
Location:
Geographically, I was born and raised in a small Michigan town on the shores of Lake Michigan, which is not unlike living on an ocean. I left home after high school and have only been back on rare occasions and for some holidays. I’ve since lived in the bustling metropolises of Grand Rapids, MI (Hurray For Not Being Detroit!); Denver, CO; New York, NY; and I now reside in Boston, MA where I work in marketing.
Here in Boston, I live in the North End, which is the oldest neighborhood in the city. I live on the same street as that fellow who wrote the song “America” (My country tis of thee). Need another fun fact? At the beginning of the 20th century, a vat of molasses exploded in my neighborhood, flooding the streets and drowning a bunch of people (Yeah, that really happened). My older neighbors tell me that on a hot day, you can smell gingerbread in the brick.
Religion:
I tend to have strong opinions regarding religion, mostly due to my upbringing, which closely resembled the documentary Jesus Camp. I’ve been in the shit of evangelical fundamentalism and the beating hearts of their movement. Ask me about it sometime.
I’m comfortably agnostic, which actually has nothing to do with evangelical fundamentalism.
Family:
I got married over the summer to my aptly-named college sweetheart, Grace (whose surname is Kelly). She’s a designer and monograms all my cardigans.
I’ve experienced far more family death in the last 4 years than anyone should have to endure. This gives me a certain perspective about the world, which I don’t think is at all pessimistic or negative.
American Authors:
Out of my three favorite authors, two have killed themselves in the last five years and the other is such a recluse that he may already be dead. I’m not sure what this says about me.
Age:
With deference to Dave Vogt, I believe I’m dethroning him as the youngest Flocker, which is both meaningless and infinitely important. That being said, I enjoy being the youngest in the group as I feel it pulls me forward into some semblance of maturity or experience not shared by my peers. And that being said, I’m also completely self-conscious about it. Date of birth: August 26, 1986.
Lurking about:
I’ve been moonlighting as Christopher Walken for well over a year. I would point out which posts belong to me, but I feel like that sort of undermines the freedom and anonymity the pseudonym offers, thereby tainting my experience at the controls. All I’m going to say is that I am sorry about the prosthetic anus.
Conclusion:
This concludes the presentation. Thanks for letting me in on this experiment in community, interconnectivity and the perpetual sharing of thoughts and ideas. I’m excited to be part of this. Here’s to the start of something good.
comments
Leave a Reply
Welcome! I’m glad you’re here.
Also, Amanda Mae, I believe, is an ’86er as well (and may well still be the youngest).
Welcome Josh! Looking forward to seeing you around.
Welcome! So you’re from the Mitten State? Are you familiar with South Haven? Saugatuck? (. . .hell, everyone knows Saugatuck) I adore Michigan. Even the sad parts.
Good to have you here.
Glad to finally have you officially aboard, Josh.
welcome, Josh. it’s great to have you. we will be welcoming another flocker today as well. I’m glad you’re here, and thanks for the prosthetic anus.
Welcome, Josh! I think you really are the youngest one here–Amanda Mae’s birthday is close to Memorial Day, so she has 3 months on you.
The next time your wife is monogramming one of your cardigans, please ask her to monogram an apostrophe onto your t-shirt. In the right place.
Thank you.
Welcome, Josh. Great to have you along – I guess you may even be closer to me than those in the west!
My god, you are the youngest. I’m May ’86. Poor Dave, now I know how he feels. I held the throne with a certain unweildy panache, I feel. Youngest Flocker July 31, 2008-Jan 14, 2010, I can still tell the kids about that one.
I can’t believe you write thisisprobablyaninterestingblog I was just going to email you about something or other the other day. Something related to Ned Hepburn I think.
Welcome, young man! I shall be reminded of molasses and prosthetic anuses when I see your name.
Hello! So happy to see your kind made official around here. And to start associating posts like the prosthetic anus with your face. Wait.
[...] thanks to Josh for the format, here’s what’s [...]
Thanks folks. I feel very accepted.
As per follow-up questions:
Kathy,
I am indeed from the Mitten State. I’m very familiar with both Saugatuck and South Haven. My Grandfather keeps his residence in the latter. He lives in a cottage on Lake Michigan. There I proposed to my wife on the beach.
Cindy,
The T-shirt was from Goodwill. I feel I need to defend my wife’s honor here in explaining that she actually keeps pretty decent grammar — and that t-shirt wasn’t monogrammed.
Amanda Mae,
Want to talk about the nineties?
That Joe Logan seems like a nice guy, aye?
Oh, Josh, I didn’t think the t-shirt was your wife’s fault–I just want her to fix it! A nice monogrammed apostrophe–perhaps in a shade of orange–would do the trick quite nicely.
In case you haven’t noticed, we have a thing about apostrophes here. Well, I have a thing about apostrophes.
Ah… Indeed.
(Walking it back.)
Welcome, baby.
Josh – I always believed… Every time I saw a Christopher Walken post that just seemed to have a certain Weichhandedness to it… I knew this day would come. It makes me happy, but it also makes me sad… the days of guessing whether or not the Christopher Walken posts are yours are over…
Maybe we’ll collude with Josh now and post as Christopher Walken every now and again just to keep you guessing.
Also, Cindy won’t know who to kill when we pepper said posts with misplaced apostrophes.
Ha, thanks Luke.
When I told my wife I was joining the flock, this was her response:
Grace: Cluster-fuck?
Me: No. Cluster-flock. F-l-o-c-k.
Grace: Oh. What’s that?
You were the only person I could think of that would equally share in my excitement. You’re like my Ethylene Tenenbaum, to whom I send my grades.
And I’ll probably continue to post pictures of prosthetic “unmentionables” via Christopher Walken.
The more prosthetic unmentionables the better; that’s always been a rule I’ve lived by.
I have to tell you Josh, I’m made only a little nervous by all this talk of prosthetic anuses. I’ve long preferred the term rubber asshole. Like frogs, like ducks it keeps what’s out, out when it should be out and lets what’s out in, when need be.
But Joseph, as Josh learned yesterday we keep the pink below the fold. Except in certain situations.
Why, Ricky Cameron, I remember that snapshot of you on the pot like it was yesterday.
Hi, Josh, and welcome, fellow marketing bastard.
I used to live in western Michigan and I do love it. The way the state is dropping value I shall soon be able to buy the whole thing.
I thought the genuine Christopher Walken was posting. Who around here is real?
To the former mittenite-you can find quite a few great authors from -notice from- your home state on mittenlit.com. Heck, Jim Harrison’s still alive