February 4, 2010
Dear clusterflock
Two questions, separated by your ability to answer each:
1. Do you have a beard? Why or why not?
2. Are beards sexually attractive? Why or why not?
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28 Responses to “Dear clusterflock”
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Two questions, separated by your ability to answer each:
1. Do you have a beard? Why or why not?
2. Are beards sexually attractive? Why or why not?
28 Responses to “Dear clusterflock”
Leave a Reply
These guys made me wonder.
1. I certainly hope not. I am a woman.
2. Not to me. It always feels like some pathetic attempt at Being Macho, it makes me wary, or it makes me think they are lazy.
I often have some level of beard unless I am traveling or going to some sort of function where I feel I need to look presentable. Even then, depending on the growth, I may let it remain. I am not generally fond of it, but the beard and I have made an pact for the sake of laziness and her children, procrastination and sleep.
1. yes.
2. I hope.
1. Yes; like Andrew I find it easier to trim on occasion rather than scrape my face daily.
2. I suppose beards are sexy, but I find I don’t necessarily touch myself more as a result.
1. I do not have a beard and that is biologically intentional.
2. I have a bizarre attraction to facial hair. I cannot explain it. Watching Matthew Goode in Brideshead Revisited was almost tedious, knowing that he was supposed to be viewed as an Adonis. Then I saw a preview for Leap Year and spent the next day or so quietly obsessing about this person I thought I’d never seen before.
…But I have a limit. The beards that are in fashion these days make me think of Brillo pads and dandy brushes, which is about as unsexy as a person could make himself to be. No?
1. Yes, see answer #2
2. Yes, see answer #1
Ha! Doc, if you shaved yours down to a soul patch I’ll bet you’d definitely touch yourself more as a result.
1. Yes, I do.
2. It seems to be working quite well. I usually only shave every month or two but right now I’m looking to go for a couple months to get a large healthy beard for the rest of these cold months.
1. Yes, I’m in Finland in winter at the moment so a nice thick beard helps in the -20 degree weather.
2. I reckon that a beard is no more extraordinary that a girl straightening her normally curly hair [or the other way round] I hesitate to call it any kind of display of manliness outside of bikers, in that it’s pretty much going to happen anyway. Laziness is a fair point though, definitely. [although keep in mind if you don't want the seik/arab "I've never cut my beard look" you're going to have to style it, which requires effort]
As for sexual attractiveness, I find the quantity of partners decreases, but the quality increases.
1. Not right now. But I have in the past. I’ve been told a beard makes me look older and more thoughtful-looking (while being clean-shaven makes me look young and idealistic). I find that when my beard gets to a certain thickness and length and I start looking homeless and insane. It doesn’t fill out and grow long, the less curly hairs just start shooting off in random directions. When I reach that point, I spend an hour hacking it off.
2. I find beards aesthetically attractive, but not particularly sexually attractive.
1. Yes. Cuts down on shaving time.
2. Not to me. And at my age I don’t really care if it is to anybody else either.
1. Yes.
2. So says my wife.
as to why. I have a slightly weak chin and perhaps too broad an upper lip. the beard helps.
I’m cursed with what I assume are the awful combination of youth and genetics that keep my face bare. I grow stubble, but have never been able to sprout much further. I’m terribly self-conscious about it.
But if I could, I would so grow a beard.
1. No. Mostly because I’m unable to get past a few days of stubble without looking silly.
2. Not in my experience.
@ Kelsey Parker -
Do you mean shave in a straight line down my chest and belly to my soul patch?
Or perhaps shave everything on my torso down to my soul patch?
Although, to be honest, I don’t see how this would cause an increase in touching. Scratching, o.k, but touching…
1) nah
2) absolutely. 95% of men look better with beards. as long as they can grow them. none of that teenage scraggle bullshit.
Oh Doc. Not that soul patch.
I have a beard not as a conscious decision to grow a beard, but because I did not want to shave. I shave it off when it gets too long and interferes with things like eating or drinking (like when I accidentally take a bite of my facial hair).
I have friends who think they are hideous but I also have friends whose boyfriends/husbands grew beards and they realized they really liked the beard. But my beard is simply my decision to not shave regularly.
Also, my mustache parts grow poorly and my facial hair is fairly wispy as it is, but I still would rather grow a shitty beard than shave every day.
Beards! Curly hair! When I was a senior in high school, when mutton-chop sideburns were all the rage, I couldn’t grow them. I have an inch-long gap between the hair-line in front of my ears to where my beard begins. No side-burns for me, not even now when they’ve come back into fashion. But now side-burns would merely connect my beard to the fringe I keep trimmed once a week with clippers using no guard. And now I keep chin-whiskers trimmed the same length as my fringe. One-fucking-sixteenth inch long after I trim.
When it comes to the things we want that we don’t have, I have a saying I’ve said for years. I don’t think I’ve shared it here, but if I have forgive me.
“We all want what we don’t have. If you have curly hair, you want straight. If you have straight, you want curly.
But Everybody wants a big dick.”
Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey…
No self respecting Beat has worn one of those since Dean drove Sal into Mexico…
1) sometimes. I have a disconnect between the mustache region and the mutton-chop region, so I tend to limit myself to three day stubble max.
2) I think they look ok on other people. Sometimes.
Got one. I left my job last summer, so I decided to try slacking harder.
Since I live in Japan, a beard, especially a blonde/brown/black speckled one like mine stands out. Whether it makes me looks better, the jury’s out.
1. Goatee. Had one forever and I keep it since if I shave, I look a lot like my father and I like my goatee. I trim it pretty short every few days, mostly because it looks better and I don’t want to scare the kids I teach, ie preschoolers.
2. hope though I’m a hetero man, so I can’t really know for sure.
1. No. I need a way for the Boulder PD to identify the body.
2. No woman I have ever dated has had a beard on her face.
1. No, see answer #2.
2. No, see answer #1.
1. Not yet, saints be praised.
2. I think I dated a guy who had a beard; I mean, I know that I dated him, but I’m not sure whether he had a beard at the time. He went back and forth for years, and it’s been a long time. And once, I think for like three days, another ex-boyfriend grew a goatee. I thought it was cute, but then he shaved it off because he didn’t want to look like a fucking hipster. And I had a crush for about a million years on a guy who had a goatee. So, I guess my answer is: some beards are sexy, yes. Some beards are merely forgivable. And some, like the Mast brothers’, are unforgivable.
That said, I suspect that if a Mast brother plied a prospective partner with enough of that chocolate, she or he would not notice the fucking beard at all.
At present, I have a bar of the Dark Chocolate, Almonds, Sea Salt, & Olive Oil in my possession. It’s nice.