March 10, 2010
Beer On Demand. US 281, Alice, TX 78332
So, I was in Alice, TX. I stayed at a Best Western and ate at a rather nice Mexican restaurtant with a Mexican waitress who would melt your heart. I feel odd saying she was Mexican, but, she was. She asked where I was from and told me she wanted to travel and would love to nurse. I told her that we were screaming out for nurses in England and that if she did some basic training she would get a job real easy in the UK. She was just delightful and so when she was next at the table I asked her if she might like my email address and then if she wanted any information or help she could email me and I’d try and help. She said to me – “I’m not sure how I would do that.” I could have wept. I gave her my email anyway and she said she’d find out how to email.
I fear I may never hear from her, but, she sure made my day.
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Oh, Phil. The photo and your story break my heart. Triste y hermosa.
Also–I finally purchased a domain: sadbeautiful.com. For when the time is right.
Okay, I’m back yet again. Your hesitation to call someone a Mexican, Phil, is very sensitive–I understand that, in you, it comes from having a true and good heart. But I’m troubled by the fact that the word “Mexican”–in much of the US, anyway–often has derogatory connotations. There is nothing wrong with the word, just as there is nothing wrong with being Mexican. (I would argue that there is everything right about being Mexican, but that is for another post.)
So please do not hesitate to say the word.
Mexican: a native or inhabitant of Mexico.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Cindy, I LOVE the domain and I can’t wait for it to be live.
I know what you mean regarding my Mexican thing – odd how we become sensitive about identifying someone in such a way – society seems to have poisoned us with our own words. Anyway, she was delightful and meeting her has certainly made my life better.
Phil, I love that waitress and this photo.
Thank you, Michael.
The restaurant.
Phil, your picture conjurs images of Northeast Arkansas for me. (Well, except for the beer, the images I have are of “dry” counties. I recall you had your own experience with such.)
A beautiful story, too. Sometimes, when I “go home” I ache for those who live in such seemingly desolate places, but it seems they live quite happily. Sometimes what looks like “getting by” from one to another’s perspective balances out what “getting by” from one’s own perspective looks like. At least, it calls me to question. My life is so laden with obligations of late, but they’re different than the obligations of someone who lives more simply (or who lives in a more desolate place). I live in a “ramped-up” world. But are my needs now necessary? I long to shrug off this mercantile busyness and find a simpler existence. Once one’s in the busy place, can it be done? (or undone, might be the better question?)
On the other hand, desires and dreams can be simultaneously robust and fragile, and a few words of heartfelt encouragement from a mysterious stranger can change a person’s life.
Sheila, yes.. I believe this might have been one of those times.
The loveliness of this vicarious experience will stay with me.
Rick, I agree with you in many ways, but, I would love it to be the way Sheila describes.
Me too.
[...] Sheila Ryan: On the other hand, desires and dreams can be simultaneously robust and fragile, and a few words of heartfelt encouragement from a mysterious stranger can change a person’s life. [...]
Sorry I’m late to this, but I do want to point out that Phil isn’t entirely wrong in being apprehensive about calling someone a Mexican, especially if you aren’t 100% positive of that person’s birth country (Phil, maybe you asked her, I’m not sure!). Now, I don’t care what people call me. I have friends who’ve called me a Beaner. However, I know plenty of people who are Mexican-American (born here, but of Mexican descent) who would take GREAT offense at being called Mexican. I think it’s silly, but they would take it to mean you are calling them an illegal immigrant. Some people prefer Chicano instead of Mexican-American. Or maybe this waitress is from someplace else (lots of Central Americans are finding their way here). And don’t even get me started on Hispanic vs. Latino.
I just asked my Mexican boss what he would call me and he said Hispanic, but admitted he would be insulted if I called him that. He did also say if he was back in Mexico discussing me, he would call me a “Mexican, but from that side.”
The subtleties are tricky. ‘Mexican’ can be a loaded term, indeed, and I can understand hesitating to use it, especially if you are an Englishman who has visited the States often enough and has sufficient perception to know that it can be a cherry bomb, depending on who’s handling it.
Teresa, thank you for your lovely response – I didn’t ask her, I made assumptions based on skin colour and appearance, which is bad even if accurate. What is crazy analysing myself is that I said Mexican – I assume that was because I was in a Mexican restaurant – I’ll stop before I tie myself up in knots with this!
It was just a lovely experience.