March 10, 2010
Black Penguin
King Penguins are notorious for their prim, tuxedoed appearance — but a recently discovered all-black penguin seems unafraid to defy convention. In what has been described as a “one in a zillion kind of mutation,” biologists say that the animal has lost control of its pigmentation, an occurrence that is extremely rare. Other than the penguin’s monochromatic outfit, the animal appears to be perfectly healthy — and then some. “Look at the size of those legs,” said one scientist, “It’s an absolute monster.”
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Lost control of its pigmentation? I’ll bet it knew exactly what it was doing. Black on black always makes a statement. I’ll bet all the hot chicks dig it.
That penguin’s head is all wrong.
Why does he have a small seal protruding from his shoulder?
Cindy, it says right there the “all-black penguin seems unafraid to defy convention.” It is, after all, a “one in a zillion kind of mutation.”
Yeah, but–why does the small seal have an even smaller seal head coming out of its shoulder? Does the penguin control the seals, you think?
Notorious for their prim, tuxedoed appearance. Notorious?
You see? I’m beginning to think something is afoot with these penguins.
These penguins are way too chill in an environment filled with the people who EAT them for a living.
Ah, excellent point, Lucy. Something is going on here. Something dark. Black, even.
In any “one in a zillion kind of mutation”, the cascading head protruding from shoulder effect is to be expected.
Either that or that fucking penguin is a snappy-dressing mason.