March 21, 2010

Motorcycle Cage of Death: Juju vs. Mojo

It doesn’t get any better than things that have not yet happened.

Do I phrase my statements as questions and then answer them? Of course I don’t.

Marketing Lesson #1: The customer is not always right, unless you have much better customers.

I’d rather be wealthy, fit, and good-looking than dead.

I came up with a simple cure for chronic self-loathing and depression, but then I realized my ideas are always lame and what’s the use in trying, anyway?

That which does not kill us gives us great stories to tell at work on Monday.

When I’m looking at you I am mentally undressing you but I’m imagining you behind a mental curtain and then I’m mentally dressing you in better clothes.

Marketing Lesson #2: Your experience, hard work, talent, and dedication are no match for a 22-year old intern who doesn’t give a fuck.

posted by in advice, anecdotes, consciousness, euphemisms, fuck all y'all, marketing, non-anecdotes, observations, poop, self-help, stupidity, wisdom | * | 6 comments 

comments

  1. Daryl Scroggins on March 21st, 2010 at 10:59 am

    Oh these are all great, Michael. I think my favorite is “mentally dressing you in better clothes.”

  2. Cindy Scroggins on March 21st, 2010 at 11:34 am

    MGS, please tell me that you and Kathy will find your way to clusterflockstock. Please.

  3. Sheila Ryan on March 21st, 2010 at 11:49 am

    And people are sheep.

  4. Deron Bauman on March 21st, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    sweet jesus these are good, Michael.

  5. Deron Bauman on March 21st, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    and yes. what Cindy said.

    please.

  6. Michael Grant Smith on March 21st, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    Thanks very much. I think I need to lay off the Sunday morning caffeine.

    clusterado is still a possibility for us but we won’t know until the last minute.

    Ha. Ha. Me in person. It wears thin pretty quick, I’ll tell you. Then there’s nothing but my movie star good looks to win people over.

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