April 22, 2010
What freeps me out
The sound of someone snoring while awake. It’s like I can see the air entering and exiting a chest cavity.
The way I feel about this is comparable to Cindy’s and Amanda’s fear of toothpicks.
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while you’re awake?
and I don’t think you should have mentioned the toothpicks.
God damn it.
Look, I’m not afraid of anything. I can take out a motherfucking toothpick. Understand?
do you just mean heavy breathing?
I think some people call it “mouth breathing,” but it’s even more upsetting when the sound is blowing through a nose. And yeah, I was on the fence about mentioning the sandwich locks.
God damn it.
I think chocolate malts are one of the things I miss about going to baseball games.
I had a cousin from there once.
And strangely, snoring while asleep is a-okay. Sure I’ll admit it can be hard to sleep next to a whistler, but at least that sounds like safety — deep relaxation — to me.
Yeah, I’m probably a little crazy.
I’m not here.
Cindy’s fear of toothpicks was the name of my Lawrence Welk tribute band but for legal reasons my lawyers counseled against it.
I’m just going to sit here and finish my coffee.
All I can say is, you play with fire, you get burned.
we still play local gigs and bar mitzvahs but The waking mouth snorers doesn’t have the same ring.
I think it has something to do with how much you exercise your lungs. Only unhealthy people breathe loudly while awake from what I can tell. I guess I’m admitting a prejudice against the lazy. I want to take them all for long walks up hills. That should rid my world of the problem.
The waking mouth snorers! There’s got to be a breathy clarinet in that band.
Were you the band at Marc Kratz’s bar mitzvah last fall?
we get around.
This announcement brought to you by the man sitting two feet to my left during the staff meeting between 10 and 11 a.m.
So. I figured out that they freep me out too. But it’s more because I view them as fragile.
Yes, I imagine pushing them up hills won’t do any good to start. Probably best to just request a few extra trips to the printer first.
Rumour has it that I snore whilst sleeping, I say rumour because proof has never been offered. I’m guessing if I had ever done it whilst awake I may have noticed.
Phil, if you come to clusterflockstock II I promise to record the sound of your breathing like it’s my job.
Dearest, Kelsey – I hardly needed more reasons to attend Clusterflockstock II, but, this does help. If it happens it may be VERY last minute – can I be accommodated? I am quite clean.
Yes! You’ll get the broad expanse of floor in the master suite and the lucky ones sleeping in the bed in that room will get to wear earplugs against your snores and my recording activities.
I’m quite comfortable sleeping with snorers. I’ve done it my whole life I think. Like Kelsey it is a comfort, but then, Danny will tell you I can sleep through storms tornados and such. He also says I snore sometimes, I think he’s right, for all my sound sleeping, I woke myself up snoring a couple times, oh wait maybe Danny woke me up enough to make me roll over on my side. At those times, I vaguely remember snorting once or twice, just before he shoved me and said, “roll over.”
Daryl snores. He says I snore, too, but what does that have to do with the fact that he snores? Worse than snoring, he perks. He takes deep breaths through his nose, but the exhale is so strong that they come out partially through the mouth, creating a percolating sound. This drives me nuts, so I have taken to wrapping my head in a soft pillow, secured with one arm. Sometimes I can still hear him, resulting in a violent flop-over.
So I thought about it and it’s got to be more than an I-never-exercise problem. I’m tubby and most of my friends exercise less often than I do but you don’t hear us Darth Vadering everywhere we go. I must be missing something.
It’s an aural environmental impact thing, it has nothing to do with weight. Some people simply do not know how much noise they make. They jiggle their knees up and down like thumper, they move constantly in some small way, they chew with their mouth slightly open, they breathe through their nose audibly. I am so hyper aware of how annoying each of these things are to me that I am absolutely as silent as I can be, always careful to sit absolutely still and make no noise. I wish other people would do the same. How do these people not hear the awful awful noises they’re making
I make a god-awful clicking sound when I sleep but I don’t know how to stop it. I think if I tied something around from the top of my head around my jaw I could do it.
Amanda solves the case!
And I’ve heard the clicking sound. It ain’t so bad, really. Ain’t bad at all. When Amanda sleeps over I imagine we’re out camping and she’s a special kind of cricket.
I like that very much. A special kind of cricket!
Every bad thing in the world can pretty much be attributed to the unimaginable thoughtlessness and selfishness of others.
Also, I’m with Cindy. It isn’t a fear, it’s a revulsion beyond anything that could be safely articulated.
I’m getting a little better. While I can’t help but know that the bread I’m eating had a toothpick in it, I just don’t think about it. One can always either become more like Howard Hughes (toothpicks, noticing other people making noise) or go the other way.
I sleep with a feather pillow across my ear and eyes. They’re far too soft to sleep on, but it keeps out snores, synthetic rain sounds, and the last little bit of light that the curtains and blinds can’t block.
Dave, we’re a couple of peas in a pea holder. I will never give up my protective layer of feather pillow.
[...] Amanda Mae Meyncke: Some people simply do not know how much noise they make. They jiggle their knees up and down like thumper, they move constantly in some small way, they chew with their mouth slightly open, they breathe through their nose audibly. I am so hyper aware of how annoying each of these things are to me that I am absolutely as silent as I can be, always careful to sit absolutely still and make no noise. I wish other people would do the same. How do these people not hear the awful awful noises they’re making? [...]
Kelsey–what you are talking about slings me over to my quivering aversion to those who cut your hair while leaning boobishly into you, heaving air through a mass of nose hairs as they go. I sometimes can’t say if it’s the constantly tested air passages or the high-belly/chest rub that’s worse. Whatever it is, I am always reminded of how Egyptians pulled the dead brain out through the nose with crochet hooks.