May 22, 2010
This just in…
We’re cordoned off y’all!
They say there’s an armed man in this house across the street. Lucky, the people who live there weren’t home. I think they’re getting ready to send in a SWAT team.
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- Joel Bernstein: I know right?
- Rick Neece: Being nice is a dainty way to put it.
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- Deron Bauman: Sweet Jesus.
- Michael Smith: Don’t we all.
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- Rick Neece: I take umbrage with the term “namby pamby.” Some sissies are fierce.
- Carole Corlew: Shelia. Happy no big deal day. I would start your very own post but this phone is in semi rebellion.
Okay, good. Hunch low under the windowsill, and play the soundtrack to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid when the bullets start flying.
Actually, last night I was reminiscing about a similar scene I walked into off Union Square in 2003. Had to hide behind a pillar during a very tense scene between handgun-drawn cops and some gentlemen in a large van.
Danny made me get away from the windows. There are two SWAT vehicles over there now moving around. The regular policeman with the rifle is gone.
Okay. You can buy the soundtrack on iTunes. Just set up the speakers close to the windows and hide under the bed with the remote control. When you hear the gunshots, press play.
Those SWAT guys don’t mess around.
Dang. And all I get to do today is go to Wild West Town and watch pretend shooting.
Wait. Who are They who Say? Did the armed man report himself? Is he planning suicide-by-cop?
Jesus, Rick–listen to Danny and watch it on TV instead of through the windows. And sit at the back of the house; some bullets will go through several walls.
A cop knocked on the back door to let us know to stay in the house or if we had to leave to go out the back. He told the rest. I don’t know how he knew everyone over there was gone. So far nobody’s gone bustin’ in. Looks like they’re being very careful, well except for the vehicles giving the lawn next door a good, going over.
I see they’ve got that yellow caution tape strung out. Save some for me if they leave any behind, will you?
Count on it.
I wish it would go ahead and get over with. There’s a paddy wagon blocking our drive. I know they’d probably move it if I asked, and let us through the tape. I don’t want to ask.
I hope this doesn’t become a 36-hour stand-off of some kind.
It is being called a stand-off here:
No time-frame estimate.
That kind of situation can be very uncomfortable to witness. In Union Square, I was just wandering down a street and suddenly I saw people being a bit cagey and then suddenly a plainclothes cop was behind me, telling me to just chill out behind the pillar and if I didn’t move, everything would be okay. I felt very uncomfortable, but he was great, he told me that he wasn’t even back at work officially that day, he had been away somewhere on his holidays, and he also walked into that situation himself. He said there was no need to panic, the pillar was very thick, and it rarely comes to the worst case scenario, contrary to the impression I might have gathered from the movies.
You realize this is keeping me from driving to Wild West Town.
I will have to take my camera-phone-device so I don’t miss any late-breaking developments from the real world.
I took pictures.
Lucy, can we see them?
Yes, I actually talked about this last night on my friends’ roof because we were having a movie projection night up there, and in the ‘coming attractions’ section we watched my This is Where photomovie project, and one of those photos was in there. Let’s see… I could just link to This is Where, or I could upload the photo itself…
Damn, Rick! I swear I parked there when I was wandering with a spoonful of fuel in the damn car looking for you guys!
Have you taken them out Martinis?
Excellent suggestion, Phil! I am sure the police are ready for a round of martinis about now.
Jebus Rick. You and Danny might find something useful to do low to the ground, ya think? Stay away from windows and watch for red laser dots on the walls.
In other news: across the street from here a guy is trolling around his lawn on a John Deere. Suddenly he looks suspicious to me.
This is spooky. Be safe!
OK. Danny and I left for about three hours, the police were nice as could be getting us out of the drive. We’re back now and everyone’s gone. Looks like the neighbors are back home across the street. (Shoot Sheila, looks like they took all their tape with them.)
Ooh, the TV9 people just pulled up, looks like we’ll have some TV to watch later.
Phil, that is where you first parked when you drove up.
Face time, baby!! Get out there with some martinis and link the footage back here.
(glad y’all are safe)
Lucy dear, I love your description of the moment when you noticed “people being a bit cagey.” That kind of peripheral awareness humans have must be ancient–the sort that makes one notice that others are apparently noticing something important. It can be almost telepathic at times, giving us that “don’t turn your back to those people just now” feeling, or the “maybe now would be a good time to leave” feeling.
Rick–I can really picture this: you, with a little round tray, carrying cold martinis out to police officers. I love just seeing that in my mind.
Daryl, is that the same sort of feeling I had when that drunk in Johnson City allegedly wanted to fuck me?
I instinctively knew it was time to leave.
It’s over. “…Investigators [will] question the man to determine what crimes [have] been committed.”
Hell, from that report alone I think the crimes might be somewhat obvious!
“Hors d’œuvre?”
Rick, you and Danny really need a few days away. I’m thinking maybe Colorado, decompress, drink all the booze Kelsey just bought.
Oh good Rick. What a relief. Even as we were all joking about things here I’m sure that worry for you and Danny was in the middle of all our whistling in the dark.
And Phil–yes. You surely saved yourself in that situation! I’m glad your instincts were in good working order.
Phil:
” allegedly ”
Right.
Kathy, I say allegedly because his mate was speaking for him. They were right friendly, I just didn’t want to hang around to see the extent of the friendliness!
I have my standards.
Phil, I say allegedly because I can’t imagine anyone wouldn’t actually want to fuck you. That’s all.
In the most respectful way, of course.
But why does Shelia want leftover crime scene tape.
Why wouldn’t she?
Now you have me wondering if I was hasty in fleeing!
I mean, they were awfully polite about it and the wife playing playstation seemed indifferent as did the 4 dogs wandering the room.
Cece – Sheila will point you in the right direction I’m sure!
Sheila, where are you?
Cece–great for creating a diversion. Everybody looks over there while you go out the back and around the corner.
Cece: because you can never be too careful.
Well Phil-bebbe it may have been an unseemly situation where your best instincts guided you to safety. Politeness can be a ruse, yes?
Always good to trust your instincts.
I’m back from Wild West Town. What are we talking about?
I’ll bet Sheila has more uses for crime tape than MGS has for duct tape.
Great link, Cece. A great metaphor for always speeding up to make the yellow traffic light.
Perfecto, re the crime tape.
Crime tape is gone. Somehow it’s sad. Everything is back to normal save the ruts in the earth dug by the SWAT team vehicles which backed up and down our across-the-street neighbor’s yard.
June, the aforementioned homeowner (I love that expression – it sounds so dirty), is now back home and being interviewed by the local TV stations. When we first moved into our house in 1998, she commented that our yard maintenance was “less than” and that our care of the “award winning irises” planted by the nearly-deceased-chiropractor-cum-seller-via-his-children was “less than” as well.
Fucking bitch.
Is her name really June?
Mrs. Twat.
“Award winning irises”? HA HA HA HA HA HA! Sorry, that’s one of the funniest things I’ve heard in at least two years.
Oh, Danny, it’s all about love isn’t it? June didn’t know us. And after twelve years here, we don’t know her either. ‘Course it might have been that comment that prevented us from wanting to get to know her.
I used to mow over the irises, on the back side of the garage, because I couldn’t keep them weeded (this was before I worked for a landscape company.) until I transplanted them at the front of the house. Now, she can see them. There have been no awards. But, just now, they are beautiful. There are some that are the most gorgeous burgundy-purple-black.
Have they won any [stifled snort] awards?
The neighbors thing is so hard to get right, isn’t it? I’ve gone from Miz Neighborly when we moved to this house in VA 17 years ago to basically ignoring everyone unless they catch me outside gardening and stand in front of me and make me talk.
When I first moved to D.C., 30 years ago from AL, my next-door neighbors didn’t even say hello or nod in greeting. I was absolutely appalled. I thought they were the biggest A——s in the world. Now, I am them.
Cece, I guess I’m generally not a neighborly person. Not likely to sit out on the front porch and pass the time. Not likely to go to the door when the doorbell rings. Danny’s the neighbor. Seems he can tell me something that’s going on in the neighborhood. Honestly, I don’t know from where he gets this information. I worked from home for two years a while back. And still he knew more than I did. WTF?
Ricky clearly has a soft spot for our neighbors. Let him have his vices. I still think all of them are bitches. When we lived in Tulsa the neighbors were friendly to our faces but that’s where it ended. Have him tell the story of the “Red Dress” party….
Some people just have the “knowing” gene, osmosis somehow. My sister has it, an effortless reading of the surrounding terrain. So in her case I wondered whether it had to do with something I read somewhere about a little sister growing up not so much self-aware as with eyes ever on the waving ponytail, the swinging hem just ahead. If that makes sense.
Do tell about the “Red Dress”!!
Rick, was that just east of Wornal off Gregory Saturday?
Reason I ask is there’s a house on the northeast corner of Washington, picket-fenced? Work-friends with my wife. They have a fair sized brood; 4-5 kids…
Indeed it was Doc. One block south on Washington from your friends.
huh…will have to have to touch base later today. glad no one was hurt.
it looks though to be a right bastard of a summer; you saw the results of the rolling shootout at 63rd and Swope?
the family was gone Saturday. thought we were was pulling their leg about the seige..