June 16, 2010
Internet dating, 1
37-year-old male contacts 26-year-old female in same city, on the day she signed up for a dating site:
Your profile’s really cute and I think you’re yummy. :)
What’s it going to take to persuade you to meet up for drinks or a picnic?
Better yet, will you be my muse? I’d seriously love to draw or paint you.
I can show you some examples of my artwork if you’re curious…
Just an idea.
Oh, and by the way… I think you’re beautiful.
~ [redacted]
A few hours later:
Any thoughts or are you going to keep me in suspense? LOL
Come on! I swear I don’t bite…
At the end of the day, she responds:
You probably say that to all the women here! Give me a line you haven’t used yet.
But I’ll take you up on your offer of artwork examples. No one’s ever said they want to paint me before.
Minutes later:
OK, I’m more than happy to show you some of my artwork… preferably in person on that picnic, but yeah, I can email you some pics too since you asked so nicely. But what do I get out of the deal? LOL Will you please send me more photos like the one of you in the green dress at the playground? I think you’re really pretty and apparently sexier than you care to let on… Oh lawdy.
Oh, and what makes you think I say this to *all the women online*??? You’re the only one… LOLOL Well OK, maybe no the only one, but do you really expect me to profess my potentially undying love in a first letter? What if you hadn’t written me back? I’d feel like such a dork and talk about a waste of time, right? So there ya go… my email wasn’t a cut and paste job, but yes I’ll admit I tend to say the same thing when I’m interested. Which I AM, by the way. Very interested…
[redacted]@yahoo.com
Email me a few pretty photos and I’ll return the flavor with examples of my artwork, OK? I promise you I’m for real and would really really like to meet you if you’re open to the possibilities…
Two days later:
So much for that? Hmmm… that’s too bad because I’m genuinely interested. But OK.
And another three days later:
So, what’s the word, bird?
[If there is a hell, sharing this with you sends me there.]
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She never should have egged him on, but the good stuff’s in that defensive reply.
True. And let me tell you sitting in one spot and having someone paint you is hella* boring.
*channeling my NorCal energies this evening.
You really would know.
I immediately thought of the Flatbush Farm convo, Kelsey. That guy sounds so mature. (LOL) So long as there is fun conversation or music on, I don’t see having someone draw you so boring.
Andrew doesn’t like conversation when he can’t gesticulate wildly.
Dave said gesticulate.
Email me a few pretty photos and I’ll return the flavor with examples of my artwork, OK?
Oh, lawdy, indeed.
37? Writes/sounds more like a virginal 20 year old.
LOLOL
Laughing out loud, oh lawdy.
This is great! Keep ‘em coming Christopher. Share the hell. I’ve yet to try internet dating sites myself, but I have a number of friends who use them and the stories are great. A recent example was a gentleman who lived about an hour a away and didn’t drive, but whose parents would come pick up potential dates from nearby cities.
My experience with live modeling in art school was beyond boring. Sort of a meditation in pain, actually. I even passed out in a sculptor’s studio once, covered in plaster.
OL
I’d seriously glove to draw or paint poo.