June 11, 2010

the ejaculation story

I went to a very small and strange college that happened to have a large homeschooled population. Good folks, though they were, these farm-bred, Midwestern kids seemed to have learned their vocabulary from Victorian Era novels. This would afford me the luxury of hearing all sorts of fantastically archaic phrases during a seminar. For instance: “I would like to ejaculate something onto the table….”

True story.


  1. Andrew Simone on June 11th, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    That one particular phrase was recounted to me by another fellow, but there isn’t a single person who attended my school that doesn’t have a few of these.

  2. Deron Bauman on June 11th, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    to be a fly on the wall. or the table.

  3. Andrew Simone on June 11th, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    my other favorite was the college freshman who didn’t know the word, “shit.”

  4. Andrew Simone on June 11th, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    this was a world where men like me were king. nice while it lasted.

  5. Rick Neece on June 11th, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Andrew said seminar.

    Do the words seminar and semen cum from the same latin (or greek?) root?

  6. Daryl Scroggins on June 11th, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    And then there’s Intercourse.

  7. Andrew Simone on June 11th, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    the uncomfortable silences when discussing Saint Augustine’s perspectives on sex were, to my mind, a delicacy. mmmm. tasty.

  8. Daryl Scroggins on June 12th, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    Fundamentalists will whip a kid for reading Song of Solomon with extra-biblical curiosity. According to them, you have to know what you are going to find before you read the Bible.