July 8, 2010
Quote of the Day (from Sheila’s text messages)
Deron: Oh. And fuck a cruise. You can quote me.
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comments:
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- Joel Bernstein: “The police said it looked like he was a good chef. It looked like he had broth and everything...
- Michael Smith: So, she goes out to bingo, wins $50 and comes home to a clean house and meal and she’s...
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- Deron Bauman: Oh, yeah. Poop is the tits.
- Michael Smith: For some reason I don’t find dog poop on the carpet as repulsive as cat urine, anywhere.
- Rick Neece: Poop is better than pee, well, unless it’s loose. I’m sorry to admit I chuckled.
- Joel Bernstein: That’s pretty much when our cats get put to sleep.
- Deron Bauman: Franklin’s been pooping wherever and whenever lately. The other day, I let him in and he promptly...
- Rick Neece: So far as I know, he hasn’t gone on the carpet. It isn’t fuzzy. If he starts, I don’t...
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- Deron Bauman: It’s a start.
- Joel Bernstein: The first of many things, no doubt.
Quoted.
Interesting. Taking a cruise (twice now) has been my favorite vacation experience.
I’ve never been on a cruise– it’s my idea of hell. I don’t think I could handle being stuck on a giant ship without being able to leave whenever I wanted.
I’m with Deron.
I did love our Alaska cruise, but only the Alaska parts.
I really, really enjoyed just sitting on the back deck of the boat in a reclining chair watching the ocean go by. It was finally I time I could force myself to take some time and just let the world go by.
Our second cruise was even more awesome because it was just my wife and I (we had our then 1 year old son with us on the first one). We got to sleep in, relax and not worry about anything for 3 days. It was pure bliss. And we got to enjoy the Bahamas.
I realize it’s not for everyone, but it’s certainly my favorite way to vacation now.
I know it is how Cooper has traveled to Europe — at least for the outward-bound leg of a round trip.
I would shoot myself with a bazooka before I’d take a cruise.
I’d like to take a cruise in the 1930s, but I haven’t figured out how you do that. Maybe when Amy is back, I will try and book one through Travelocity.
I really, really enjoyed just sitting on the
back deck of the boatbeach in a reclining chair watching the oceango by. It was finally I time I could force myself to take some time andjust let the world go byrelax.No cruise for me. My glasses fog up.
And none of the things I hate about cruises.
Michael, I’m with you. For some reason, it just doesn’t work for me. I have a hard time relaxing. I’m always thinking about the next thing I want to work on.
What Cindy said. But my weapon of choice would probably be much smaller.
I hope that right about now the captain is escorting Deron and Amy on a personal tour of the ship’s waste disposal operation.
I hear they do make you walk through metal detectors beforehand. You might have to get a little creative– can you bring squirrels on board?
We do everything bigger in Texas, Kelsey. As you now know.
That is so funny. I would love to hate on cruises but I have never taken one. I can’t talk the Iowan into it. He is the most hyper Midwestern male I have ever run into, shattering all my stereotypes. And claustrophobic. And can’t handle heights. And reams of other behaviors I know he would love to see me sending out across the trotline of the CF.
Actually he doesn’t care one bit. Another thing I love about him, what you see is what you get and he’ll tell you all about it, no scary horrors down in the hidey holes of his psyche waiting for the ambush. Unlike some husbands. Ahem.
..
It’s the most depressing place in the world.
There was a nightclub on ours called REX and it was allll thrown up in with animal prints. It was my favourite place and I hate night clubs.
My high school reunion next year is shaping up to be a cruise. The people who come to these things are wild partiers or the super religious. They sit at separate ends of the table. For some reason, my friend Portia grabs me and makes me sit in the middle, the DMZ.
There is no way I am missing this one, husband or no.
Carole, there is no way I’m going to any high school reunion.
Michael, I’ll loan you the bazooka.
Can’t promise I’ll use it on myself.
Your friend Portia. I love it that you have a friend named Portia.
Michael, reunions are not attended by “those” people. At least for the most part. They are surprising, wonderful things. Because those people turn out so often to be who you never even imagined. But it takes a while. Ten years is too early, 15 is better, 20 is good. Etc.
Although Shelia and I were talking about this. I don’t know whether this works the same if you had a huge class. If your class was little, mine was 125 people, then you knew everyone enough to be struck by the changes, or by significant things about someone you didn’t have a clue about because your head was up a certain appendage despite being anatomically impossible. The girl who never invited anyone over because her father was dog drunk all the time. The bruises the pancake makeup didn’t quite cover. When we were younger we were so invested in image. I don’t know what we were doing. But now we’re not. We sit down and it all just comes out. Decades later, that need to protect other people, to keep up those images, is losing its power at warp speed.
I missed some of the early reunions. Work, busy, I was in France for no. 10, I think. But I don’t miss them now if I can help it. It’s like the fake foundation we all stood on our entire lives is being torn down. And what’s left is terra firma, the sweet, red Alabama clay kind. So go, Michael, take a big garish machine gun that fires nerf product “bullets” for your psychic protection. I’ll send you one of my son’s old ones. If it’s the right year, you’ll love it.
I know, Shelia! Her mother, Geneva, just loved that name.
I also went to school with a red-haired girl named Marvalene. I loved that name so much that I would tell people that was my name (ummmm, well, I still do sometimes). And the sweetest girl in the world, the very blonde Grapy, pronounced Grapey.
Not only that, in my family, among people named Hester, Molly, Rose, Jenner, Elijah, etc., are two women named Willie Ann Corlew. No lie.
Well, I missed 10. My class was 125 people or so too. When I was on Facebook people became friends with me and everyone was the same. They were the people I liked or the people I didn’t like and it didn’t matter to me. I’ve made such better friends since then and known such better people that it’s just not appealing.
If it tells you anything, our 10 year was at a Night Club in San Francisco.
I was saying to Carole that I could get into a grade school reunion. But I’m too lazy to organize one.
See, 10 is too early. I’m not sure about 15. I think 20 is much better. This is not just me making stuff up. This is me and a bunch of other people making up stuff about our class reunions. And they’re more fun at somebody’s house. We had one at the Elk’s Club, I think. Which was not fun.
Marvalene!
I remember somebody saying she had gone to a grade school or middle school reunion and having a wonderful time. This was an all-girls school. She did not expect to enjoy it, at all, nearly did not go. Shelia, do you remember anyone from grade school you can manipulate into doing it? As in “since you live there could you organize and I’ll find people on facebook to invite” or some such. Because you can’t organize a reunion living where you do.
In high school, when I worked at the department store in town, I would sometimes wear a red wig from the wig department and pretend to be Marvalene. I think there is an actual diagnosis for this.
Marvalene Syndrome.
Like Patrick, I have enjoyed cruises. The level at which I could relax–as opposed to being on land, like Michael suggests–was almost unprecedented. But that doesn’t mean that everyone should take a cruise, or that all cruises are created equal. One might like a transatlantic and hate a Caribbean.
Update: Cruises can suck it. (Deron. 10 July 2010. 10:46 AM CDT.)
Oh-Hello Sheila! Thanks for the update. It confirms my predictions about such things. Waste of a good bottle of champagne on the hull at the start.