August 23, 2010

The Phantom Menace, Ground Zero Edition

Seems we have been underestimating the dimensions of the Ground Zero Jihad Victory Mosque:

The planned “ultra-mosque” will be a staggering 5,600ft tall – more than five times higher than the tallest building on Earth – and will be capped with an immense dome of highly-polished solid gold, carefully positioned to bounce sunlight directly toward the pavement, where it will blind pedestrians and fry small dogs. The main structure will be delimited by 600 minarets, each shaped like an upraised middle finger, and housing a powerful amplifier: when synchronised, their combined sonic might will be capable of relaying the muezzin’s call to prayer at such deafening volume, it will be clearly audible in the Afghan mountains, where thousands of terrorists are poised to celebrate by running around with scarves over their faces, firing AK-47s into the sky and yelling whatever the foreign word for “victory” is.

No, not really, but Brooker makes the salient point very well:

Perhaps spatial reality functions differently on the other side of the Atlantic, but here in London, something that is “two minutes’ walk and round a corner” from something else isn’t actually “in” the same place at all. I once had a poo in a pub about two minutes’ walk from Buckingham Palace. I was not subsequently arrested and charged with crapping directly onto the Queen’s pillow. That’s how “distance” works in Britain. It’s also how distance works in America, of course, but some people are currently pretending it doesn’t, for daft political ends.

There is no longer anything resembling coherence in modern politics.

comments

  1. Sheila Ryan on August 23rd, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Distance expands and contracts in an especially dramatic way in America. Many of us drive to a convenience store that is a two-minute walk from our house.

  2. Sheila Ryan on August 23rd, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    Of course, intolerance is not exclusive to the US. EU citizenship is something of a joke, seeing as some citizens are more equal than others.

    The other day I entertained a fantasy of visiting a French Alpine ski resort and donning a ski mask.

  3. Rick Neece on August 23rd, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    When Danny and I first moved to Detroit (Troy, a Northern suburb), I went looking to buy cigarettes in The Collection. (The mall where Saks was ensconced.) I asked “Is there a place nearby, where I can get cigarettes?” Whomever I asked, s/he replied “Oh, sure. There’s a [convenience store] just down the street!”

    It was a mile-and-half down the road. It didn’t take us long to get a second car. Detroit is a place where driving is everything.