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posted by Deron Bauman in internet, news | * | 14 comments
“You look hot today, are you ovulating?”
You’ve been like this since first grade, haven’t you, Michael?
I’m not positive, but I have a feeling I didn’t know what “ovulating” was in the 1st grade.
I mean your delightful humor. But I bet you had the sweetest pick up lines on the playground.
“Is that a dodgeball in your blouse?”
“Excuse me, miss, but you smell like applesauce and dirt. It’s intoxicating.”
Oh so that’s why I’m single. I haven’t been timing my clothes-shopping with my menstruation cycle. Well, cool! These are things I can fix.
Is that grape jelly on your shirt, or are you just excited to see me?
Hey, do you happen to have a band-aid? I scraped my knee up pretty badly when I fell while chasing you around the playground in an attempt to pull your hair.
Those saddle shoes really accentuate the shapelessness of your lower leg.
Hey, Michael, I’m getting my training wheels taken off this weekend.
My mom said that might be a euphemism for something…bad…whatever that means.
Lunch Lady, one chocolate milk, two straws, please.