September 30, 2010
FedEx Regulations
prohibit the transportation of urine in an uncapped receptacle.
This is WHAT NOT TO DO.
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- Sheila Ryan: Nice selection from Robin Gibb’s heyday as lead singer from Bill Crandall in Rolling Stone.
- Casey Cichowicz: And health, wealth, and happiness to those that eat them.
- Sheila Ryan: Eggs.
- Erica: Perhaps we can pick up John Waters.
- Josh Weichhand: Ugh… Yes, to all of the above. Miss you guys. Miss the time I was able to spend here. I miss...
- Sheila Ryan: In the back of my Honda Element, the moveable roadside attraction.
- Sheila Ryan: You are very good. Pray continue in this vein.
- Cooper: You are both very kind. Thank you.
- Erica Braverman: Where’s the world’s largest fork and stack of bacon?
- Casey Cichowicz: Also, I think the new Here We Go Magic album is quite good.
- Sheila Ryan: Also, it is a wonderful story, and I really want to believe it was not a contrived stunt. Damn. I want...
- Joel Bernstein: It was mostly for you.
- Sheila Ryan: Well, you just know I love that, Joel.
- Michael Grant Smith: Cooper’s entire collection of short-short stories in JMWW is a lesson of how to write...
- Sheila Ryan: It’s all in the attitude you take toward non-anecdotes — such as my not having seen the...
NOW you tell us.
that has a real water-tower-tality about it.
I’m sorry. I kind of figured that all y’all had learned through unhappy experience, but then it struck me that maybe some of you are new to this sort of thing.
This sort of thing.
It was a liquid day, Deron.
Later on I got inspired, and I peed into one of those heavy-duty sealable plastic bags, which I stored inside a lunch tote that I hid behind a cauliflower and a bowl of tzatziki in a little fridge in the common room of the motel where I lived this summer.
I thought about auctioning my piss to ‘flockers and friends. I started working on a certificate of authenticity. Then I began to puzzle about how I might ship the piss. That is how I learned what you can and cannot do in the realm of FedEx shipping.
I’m sorry to say that I flushed the piss down the toilet before I moved from the motel to my new apartment.
Sometimes we just have to let things go.
It is all part of my artistic maturation.
What I love, honestly, is the itty-bitty zoetropic image banding the base of the vessel of piss.
Girl, you need to drink more water.
I do, babycat. Honest. It ain’t like that most days.
I’m surprise that bowl ain’t etched fummit.
Danged acrylic bowl and all. Just had to piss and wanted to show.
I’d just like to add…
also, fish poop.
Sometimes we let things go in a pot with a hole in the bottom and all we got left is a memory of a stain on some concrete and nobody, least-wize I know of, got a pitcher.
Itty-bitty, teeny-weeny, yellow…wait I forgot where I was going with that…
Zoetropolka dot..?
Nevermind…
Carry on.
Itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, little yella pot o’ peepee!
Perfect rhythm! Perfect!
I actually was told today that there is a use for MALE urine to keep pesties from bothering your garden. Apparently they are not the least bit intimidated by female urine. The male of the human species being considered ultimate predators by rabbits and other creatures that like to nibble on lettuce and what have you. I have not verified this. I may have the Iowan be a test subject, though.
Damn. I should have peed in the cornfield tonight and set up a critter-cam.
[...] Carole Corlew: I actually was told today that there is a use for MALE urine to keep pesties from bothering your garden. Apparently they are not the least bit intimidated by female urine. The male of the human species being considered ultimate predators by rabbits and other creatures that like to nibble on lettuce and what have you. I have not verified this. I may have the Iowan be a test subject, though. posted by Deron Bauman in animals, from the comments, gardening, gender, how to, piss | * | comment [...]
Oh no! No wonder FedEx likes to “lose” my packages.