September 30, 2010

quote out of context

[Clenbuterol] is a substance that does not help performance, and this (tiny) quantity is completely insignificant to improve physical improvement.

comments

  1. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 9:05 am

    what do you think?

  2. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 9:16 am

    I forgot to tell you. Cindy and I have decided to submit you to a drug test.

  3. Michael Smith on September 30th, 2010 at 9:24 am

    I just got an email from Walt asking the same question and I’m not quite sure yet.

    Initially, I’m not that surprised. I’ve never much liked Contador so it’s not hitting me the same way the Landis positive did. I will not be surprised if UCI determines this was not a result of food contamination.

    The good news is that these guys are getting caught now which could go a long way to helping clean up the sport (or encouraging cheaters to find new ways to cheat).

    Walt asked if I even cared about professional cycling anymore and my response is that I do. My big concern is that cases like this impact the popularity of cycling in America.

    I’m a little all over the map right now but about 3 minutes after reading about Contador this morning I saw this and it made me feel a lot better.

  4. Michael Smith on September 30th, 2010 at 9:26 am

    I’ve been peeing in a cup every morning just in case but I’m not sure if I can Fedex you the samples. Does anybody know what the rules are about shipping urine?

  5. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 9:34 am

    Yeah. Send those to Cindy.

  6. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 11:13 am

    Sorry, Michael, I just assumed you were the one who’s been sending me urine all along. Don’t panic; it’ll be okay. If the FBI shows up at your office today, just tell them to call me. DO NOT GO WITH THEM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

  7. Michael Smith on September 30th, 2010 at 11:51 am

    How do I know if they’re here because of that?

  8. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Show them one of the cups. Maybe hold it next to your face, shake it a little, and lift your eyebrows, the palm of your other hand up.

  9. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Yeah, do that. And I changed my mind–don’t tell them to call me.

  10. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Shit. Deron, don’t tell Michael, but I think they’re onto me about my former job as a sex worker.

  11. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    You’ll have to stop teaching art classes to elementary kids, Cindy. Bloomberg told me so.

  12. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Oh, he just wants to fire me from the teaching job? Whew. Okay, then. Michael, you can go ahead and tell the FBI to call me again. I’ll explain everything to them. I also have inside information on that cyclist dude everyone’s so worked up about.

  13. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    Yeah, he’s pissed you’re going on the book tour and how come you never call any more.

    Same ol’.

  14. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    Fucker.

  15. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    I’m sick of those kids, anyway. They don’t know their penises from their fingers.

  16. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    I hear Michael has the same problem.

  17. Phil Bebbington on September 30th, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Cindy, when you were a sex worker did you go by the name of Sindy?

  18. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Close. Sin’Dee.

  19. Phil Bebbington on September 30th, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    Sorry, I was spelling it the English way.

  20. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    No, wait. I misremembered.

    Sin’D

    I didn’t sign my name all that much.

  21. Phil Bebbington on September 30th, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Sin’D deserves to be on a shop front. Did you offer any other services? I guess sex worker is all encompassing!

  22. Michael Smith on September 30th, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    What’s going on here? I step away for a minute to fill up a 1 gallon milk jug with urine and suddenly I’m the victim of vicious attacks. Deron, I can assure you, my fingers are not large enough to make that mistake.

  23. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Calm your little self down, Michael.

    Phil, I did initially offer hair services, but I found I made more money on blow jobs. I always let the market decide.

  24. Phil Bebbington on September 30th, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Wise move, Cindy. There’s no future in hair.

  25. Deron Bauman on September 30th, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    Michael. I think the FBI are here. Quick. Drink all the evidence.

  26. Phil Bebbington on September 30th, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Or, Michael, piss into it. Contaminate the evidence!

  27. Cindy Scroggins on September 30th, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    I quit this job. Too much stress.

  28. FedEx Regulations | clusterflock on September 30th, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    [...] the transportation of urine in an uncapped [...]

  29. Michael Smith on September 30th, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Cindy, I offer you this toast on your final day with us. Don’t mind the smell that’s from the asparagus.

  30. Sheila Ryan on September 30th, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Ooh, asparagus on toast.

  31. Michael Smith on September 30th, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    Tapas.

  32. Sheila Ryan on September 30th, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    Pequeñas cosas. Comestible.

    Mmmnh.

Leave a Reply