September 2, 2010

Sluts for Jesus

Daryl often mentions Christian Tits–scads of young women at the university who reveal ample cleavage and don sparkling crosses that hit mid-cleave.

Yesterday in the hospital cafeteria I saw a young woman wearing a skirt so tight and so short that I wondered how she was able to walk (especially given the 4-inch stilettos she was wearing).

So I was looking at her as I waited for my veggie burger, pondering the physics of it all, when I noticed she had a tattoo of the Christian fish with an embedded cross on her upper rear thigh.

Can someone tell me what the fuck it all means?


  1. Deron Bauman on September 2nd, 2010 at 10:47 am

    I posted somewhere in the last year or two about a study that shows female Christians have more sexual partners than male Christians or non-Christians of either gender. I should have gone to church more in my twenties.

  2. Cindy Scroggins on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Yeah, but what do you think it is that causes them to place Christian symbolism on their sex? Do they think it makes it more okay, or more taboo, or what?

    And, yeah, you totally blew it, dude.

  3. Joel Bernstein on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:02 am

    Jewish girls? Not so much

  4. Deron Bauman on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:05 am

    thanks for reminding me. there was something about the why in what I posted. I’ll have to see if I can find it.

  5. Joel Bernstein on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:06 am

    Cindy: I haven’t eaten a donut in months, but I guarantee if I went on an Absolutely-No-Donuts diet, I would soon be thinking of little else.

  6. Deron Bauman on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:08 am

    but apparently it’s the opposite of that, Joel. dangit, now I have to find the article.

  7. Cindy Scroggins on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Yeah, Joel, they fuck like rabbits.

  8. Deron Bauman on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:26 am

    fuck me, I found it.

  9. Michael Smith on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:30 am

    bumper sticker.

  10. Cindy Scroggins on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Okay, so it’s brain damage. Thanky kindly.

  11. Phil Bebbington on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:44 am

    That Christian fish on her upper right thigh probably serves to purify shit into Christian drivel!

  12. Cory M on September 2nd, 2010 at 11:57 am

    I was raised in a Christian environment and am still a Christian today (31, male, single, no kids). Here’s my opinion:
    Kids in “the church” are taught to stifle ALL sexual urges. Obviously, this is unhealthy for the guys, but it also has crazy effects on the ladies. Since we (men) are trained to avoid noticing the sexiness of women, the ladies who want to get their attention by means of their body have to try harder and harder. This leads to a ramping up of effort from said chicks and restraint from the guys, until some breaking point is reached.
    Then, the girl is labeled a slut and ostracized. So she basically says, “fuck it” and just goes all out and actually becomes a slut.
    The approach that the church has traditionally taken in this area (at least in my lifetime) has necessarily lead to extremes: sluts and prudes, with very little middle ground.

    It’s just a theory, but I’ve seen that played out a few times in churches I’ve attended.

    Jesus didn’t talk a whole lot about sex. He tended to concentrate more on forgiveness and love. That’s something that today’s churches are beginning to embrace. Hopefully, that will lead to fewer Christian Tits.

  13. Amanda Mae Meyncke on September 2nd, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    This is a fable that might shed some light on the situation. Everyone I know who’s read it has agreed pretty emphatically.

  14. Cindy Scroggins on September 2nd, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Thank you, Cory and Amanda Mae.

  15. Joel Bernstein on September 2nd, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Well at least they’ll stay skinny

  16. Cory M on September 2nd, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Amanda Mae, thanks for that link – I hadn’t seen that before. I was nodding in agreement through most of that. A similar fable could be written for guys too.

    Joel, check out the “weigh down diet” and its founder Gwen Shamblin. That’s some messed up stuff there.

  17. Kelsey Parker on September 2nd, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Whew, that fable made me sad.

  18. Michael Lang on September 2nd, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    Amanda, that article rings all too true. I have to admit, the attitudes towards sexuality & relationships purported by the community I grew up in still haunt my view of Christianity today.