November 29, 2010
Email from afar.
Thought you guys would like this:
Trees, mountains, dial-up internet. Sagebrush, desert, stars, peach champagne and turkey. That could be the greatest sounding thanksgiving in the history of thanksgivings. I tried to talk my family into having a turkey lunch with me but they politely declined. I found them next to the pool an hour later eating Doritos, drunk off dessert wine and trying to plot the best way to get Domino’s Pizza to fail on its “30 minutes or its free” guarantee. I guess, in some kind of weird way, that is an Australian thanksgiving….
(Personal communication via e-mail, 11.29.10)
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I love this.
Another snippet for you, Cindy:
“Us? We gots all kinds of creative holidays. Like (and prepare yourself for it, the creativity is going to blow your mind…)………………… Australia Day (Jan 26th), which is essentially a day similar to your Thanksgiving; the family gets together, Dad cooks something, makes Dad jokes and eventually falls asleep in front of the television, precariously balancing a full glass of red wine on his stomach, whilst Mum (that’s Mom to you) gets drunk on dessert wine (hey, just like Thanksgiving) and passes out on a pool lounge with the latest Stephen King book in her hand (seriously, the number of times my Mum has woken up with a booked shaped tan line on her face is unbelievable). Then, there’s Melbourne Cup Day (its a holiday built around drinking champagne and a horse race) and, well, that’s about the long and the short of it. Oh, wait, we also celebrate the Queens Birthday in June (just an excuse to get drunk again) and Anzac Day (where we “have a beer” for the fallen troops). Now that I’m writing it down, it would seem that a substantial number of our holiday’s revolve around alcohol and food… But hey, that’s Australia for you. There’s not much to do here unless you’re a Kangaroo riding expert, and that’s not as easy as it sounds.”
I think we should celebrate Australia Day on clusterflock.
Let’s declare every day Australia Day.
I’m going back to school to become a Kangaroo riding expert. Do you think they offer courses at my local community college?
Check under “roo-wrangling.”
I’m more into the Melbourne Cup Day, y’all. Doesn’t it just scream ‘pursuant to your interests’?
I want Australia Day because Daryl has a shirt that says “Not Australian” on it. So we’re already decorated.
Did I tell any of you about my Australian T-Shirt design? It was going to have a guy playing a didgeridoo and a guy standing there and it was going to be unclear if the the didgeridoo noise was coming from the instrument or the other guys’s arse and it was going to say “What Did Geri Doo?”
Also, that’s how I remember how to spell Didgeridoo.
Oh, they’re guys because my original sketch was stick figures and the skirt made the fart joke less funny.
Glad to know you’re making good use of your time while I’m here doing your goddamned job, Smith.
I was going to invite you to be a partner in my new t-shirt company. Could you just sketch out the shirt design for us? Thanks.
Doritos and dessert wine. Please. Whatever we do — no Doritos and dessert wine.
I was telling Deron the other day that it actually bothers me that Michael always wins these games. Every time.
Damn it.
Let’s make that no Doritos OR dessert wine, please.
I’ll have extra Nacho Doritos and the rest of the Gewurztraminer, thankkkk youuuu. Girls love Riesling.
Shela, I guess we ain’t girls no more.
“Girls love Riesling.” is something stupid a guy said at one of our dinner parties once. I say it all the time now, it’s sort of entrancing.
Neither Doritos nor dessert wine.
It may be true, Cindy. We are no longer girls. We are jaded.
It sounds like an advertising slogan.
“Only her hairdresser knows for sure.”
Girls love Riesling. Old women like scotch.
Real girls drink champagne, because everything is worth celebrating.
I’m a champagne fool. I’m not sure what else that makes me.
I do so many things in reverse. Scotch was my preferred drink when I was in my twenties. Now, not so much.
I hardly ever know what I’m doing.
Okay, we can all agree on champagne, so the rest doesn’t matter.
Daryl and I have taken to buying 6-packs of an affordable French sparkling wine. And it never lasts 6 days.
Do y’all drive with an open container? Is that still legal in Texas?
I can fit at least six people into my Element. And I know some places you can drive out around Mountain Creek Lake. We could buy us one of those French six-packs and go out and have us a time.
Alas, Texas got all sissified and no longer allows open containers. But that’s fine by me, because I prefer to lie down while drinking.
[...] Amanda Mae Meyncke: “Us? We gots all kinds of creative holidays. Like (and prepare yourself for it, the creativity is going to blow your mind…)………………… Australia Day (Jan 26th), which is essentially a day similar to your Thanksgiving; the family gets together, Dad cooks something, makes Dad jokes and eventually falls asleep in front of the television, precariously balancing a full glass of red wine on his stomach, whilst Mum (that’s Mom to you) gets drunk on dessert wine (hey, just like Thanksgiving) and passes out on a pool lounge with the latest Stephen King book in her hand (seriously, the number of times my Mum has woken up with a booked shaped tan line on her face is unbelievable). Then, there’s Melbourne Cup Day (its a holiday built around drinking champagne and a horse race) and, well, that’s about the long and the short of it. Oh, wait, we also celebrate the Queens Birthday in June (just an excuse to get drunk again) and Anzac Day (where we “have a beer” for the fallen troops). Now that I’m writing it down, it would seem that a substantial number of our holiday’s revolve around alcohol and food… But hey, that’s Australia for you. There’s not much to do here unless you’re a Kangaroo riding expert, and that’s not as easy as it sounds.” posted by Deron Bauman in alcohol, culture, food, from the comments, international | * | comment [...]
[...] Michael Smith: Did I tell any of you about my Australian T-Shirt design? It was going to have a guy playing a didgeridoo and a guy standing there and it was going to be unclear if the the didgeridoo noise was coming from the instrument or the other guy’s arse and it was going to say “What Did Geri Doo?” [...]