December 21, 2010
From Wikipedia: Parking Chairs
I was just curious if Clusterflock had a Wikipedia page (it doesn’t) and ran across this article on parking chairs during snowstorms (Clusterflock’s post is one of the external links at the end). It’s quite a thorough article, covering such nuances as “effort requirement”, “necessity requirement”, and “disregard of”. Good to review as we come into winter weather. Here’s an excerpt:
The practice is often most effective when accompanied by the threat or actual occurrence of a “look of consternation” from a vigilant, often elderly neighbor who “keeps watch” in their neighbor’s absence. While use is year-round, it is a particularly time-honored tradition in times of great snowfall accumulation, when a resident who “digs out” their spot on the street essentially declares eminent domain, which often goes unchallenged by neighbors for fear of retribution.
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I think I need to enlist an elderly neighbor to give looks of consternation when I go out this winter.
I mean for those looks of consternation to be directed at would-be parking space stealers. I’m used to the other looks of consternation.
I was baffled when I first saw this in D.C. “Are people throwing all these chairs away?” I asked. Later, in Old Town Alexandria, VA, I was wrestling the toddler out of the carseat when an oh-so-hipster minced up and mewled that I had moved an orange cone. Someone else had moved it, I was in the space behind his stolen city property, which was on the sidewalk in the space above, but he obviously needed to trounce someone.
The Iowan lived in New York for 10 years and strongly believes in the power of the chair. We have our own driveway now. But if someone digs out and places a chair in the space, he will not only glare but lecture a space usurper. He never gets cold so he can stand out there all day wheedling if he has the time and inclination.
Dibs!
I will eternally regret not having recorded a 15-minute narration that I spoke into my phone to a friend several years ago as I walked along snowy streets to a Chicago El station. I described all the various permutations of parking chairs that I witnessed en route.
I am trying to recollect the various classifications I came up with that day. I remember
Parade Ground Dignitaries’ (Viewing) Stand
Choo-Choo Train
and I imagine others will come to mind.
Thank you for the post. ‘Tis the season.
For me, the “I just shoveled my car out and would like to use this space when I get back from the grocery store in 30 minutes” chair/cone/choo-choo seems fair enough, but then I’m quickly faced with the quandary of “for how long?” For instance, can I leave it while I go skiing for the whole day? Can I stick a chair/cone/object out three days after the snowstorm? It’s a slippery, snowy slope.