February 18, 2011
Ask a law librarian
Caller: “I need t’ know whut ya gotta do to get a annulment.”
Librarian: “There are 7 grounds for annulment. Number one: underage. Number two: under the influence of alcohol or narcotics. Number three: impotency. Number four: fraud, duress, or force. Number five: mental incapacity. Number six: concealed divorce. Number seven: marriage less than 72 hours after issuance of license.”
Caller: “Oh, uh, oh, Freud! I think it was Freud! What do Freud include?”
Librarian: “Something like immigration fraud.”
Caller: “He’s black.”
Librarian: “And?”
Caller: “O.K., mental incapacity.”
Librarian: “You will have to prove it.”
Caller: “How do I prove I ain’t right in my right mind?”
Librarian: “Get some kind of proof from a doctor.”
Caller: “What kinda doctor? A crazy doctor?”
Librarian: “Any doctor.”
Caller: “Hmm. Which one you think I fit into?”
Librarian: “I can’t determine that. Do you want me to read the 7 grounds again?”
Caller: “Yeah.”
[Librarian reads the grounds for annulment again]
Caller: “O.K., I think thisn here’ll work. 72 hours.” [musingly] “twenty-fo, uh, thirty-six” [incoherent mutter] “fo-ty-eight…Seventy two f’om the first day, or the third day?”
Librarian: “What?”
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That’s it, Cindy. That’s it.
I’ve been teetering on the brink all day long, and you just pushed me over.
Sorry. Brink pushin’s my strong suit.
Oh, man! And just before bed as well – I can feel a restless night coming on!
Hey, it works, Cindy. Brink-teetering and occasional tumbling — they’re my stock in trade.
Immigration Freud.
Seventy two from the first or third day.
“What kinda doctor? A crazy doctor?”
Redundant.
I just don’t know for sure.
If it’s a work of fiction – it’s brilliant.
If it’s a work of recollection – it’s brilliant.
Marco, it’s a work of recollection with a touch of literary editing on my part. The law librarian who recounts these tales is constitutionally incapable of lying. She has both Asperger Syndrome and OCD, so every detail is precisely captured.