February 26, 2011

Dumbass Texan Spanish

Okay. Several weeks ago I added a new category–Dumbass Texan Spanish–thinking  that y’all would be inspired to use it. “Build it and they will venir.” But, no–it has languised on the side bar, lonely and sad as a burro in a hail storm. I abred the goddamn puerta and nadia entrermos.

Here are some examples of how to use this category:

“Me gusta pussy.”

“Ho-zay, haga algunos corn dogs.”

“Loopy, put them flowers in otra vase.”

“Oh my god, Hay-sus, Billy’s ahogoing.”

Are you getting it?

posted by in dumbass texan spanish | * | 18 comments 

comments

  1. Daryl Scroggins on February 26th, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    Cooper! Get in here man!

  2. Deron Bauman on February 26th, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    My thing lately is to use los inappropriately: Hey, look at los cat.

    Or.

    Los Franklin.

    That is all.

  3. Sheila Ryan on February 26th, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    I used the Dumbass Texan Spanish category for the Fort Bliss post on account of “Cuidad Juarez,” but I realize I was pushing the envelope.

    I need to get back to Texas for a refresco course.

  4. Daryl Scroggins on February 26th, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Tango nino back ribs?

    Que stinks in here?

    “Tango uno situacion mi familia.”

  5. Sheila Ryan on February 26th, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    Ruh-BUR-to, the seniora ordered el diet Coca. A largo diet Coca.

  6. Daryl Scroggins on February 26th, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    Sheila–that’s it. That’s the language that comes out like change found between the couch cushions.

  7. Sheila Ryan on February 26th, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    High-may, you see los squirrels in the el jardeen, you run tell Senior Daryl, si?

  8. Rick Neece on February 26th, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    ¿Dónde está la casa de Pepe?

    (Steve Martin, decades ago, asking, “Where is the restroom?”)

  9. Sheila Ryan on February 26th, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Manual, go find a length of ropa and tie up your amigo’s pit bull. Pronto!

  10. Sheila Ryan on February 26th, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Senior Daryl no a-key, you run go find Senior Deron, you see los squirrels.

  11. Coop on February 26th, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    Cinthia, I contando you once, I contando you dos veces. Don’t you go no hablaing no pinche españito in mi casa. I got mi estandards.

  12. Sheila Ryan on February 26th, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    I got mi estandards.

  13. Tycho on February 27th, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    Are you guys all from el Texas?

  14. Deron Bauman on February 27th, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    Michael is.

  15. Cindy Scroggins on February 27th, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    But mostly Phil.

  16. Phil Bebbington on February 27th, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    I’ll be back soon for adventures!

    Of course, I’ll only be speaking Queen’s English.

    All nationalities understand the mother tongue!

  17. Daryl Scroggins on February 27th, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    I need to linta minty baho.

  18. Amy Mabli on February 27th, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Besides, “Los Franklin”, I am quite fond of “Los Battlestar Gallactica” and “Los Cyclons”.

Leave a Reply