comments

1. Joel Bernstein on April 28th, 2011 at 3:09 pm

   Here’s a sample:
   “The cats nestle close to their kittens.
   The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
   You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
   Please go the f@#k to sleep.”

2. Michael Smith on April 28th, 2011 at 3:43 pm

   The Iz is approaching her 3rd birthday and we still can’t seem to win when it comes to sleep. In her room there’s this “Sleep Sheep” (the Iz calls it a “Sleep Sleep”) that’s just a plush sheep toy with a little speaker that plays various types of white noise. It runs for 45 minutes and shuts off. We’re at the point now where she’ll actually stay in bed as long as the thing is on, but most nights at the 45 minute mark she comes slowly down the stairs and laughs at us when we finally see her.

3. Joel Bernstein on April 28th, 2011 at 4:04 pm

   I would probably just work out a way to keep it on all night

4. Michael Smith on April 28th, 2011 at 4:21 pm

   That’s a lot of batteries, Joel. And she usually falls asleep in the second 45 minutes.

5. Cindy Scroggins on April 28th, 2011 at 9:19 pm

   Those assholes spelled Fuck wrong. Great example for the kids, guys.

6. Carole Corlew on April 29th, 2011 at 8:38 am

   Michael, try a fan, just a regular box fan on low all night in Iz’s room. A ceiling fan also might work. But generally a box fan is a magic sleep potion for the most sleep resistant. The Iowan and Mr. B., for instance. It needs to have a soft white noise, not too loud.

   *Special thanks to Miss Nell for this remedy. In the pre-air conditioning days in Hades hot Alabama, she would mandate an afternoon break by settling us on a pallet in front of the old green fan in the living room. I remember lying beside the sofa on a quilt, watching Miss Nell sip iced tea and read the Bible. Then, out.

7. Joel Bernstein on May 6th, 2011 at 11:46 am

   PDF version

8. walt on May 9th, 2011 at 6:32 pm

   Michael, I also highly recommend Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. We had problems with the firstborn around the same time as the Iz. That book saved me and her from infanticide.

9. Sheila Ryan on May 9th, 2011 at 6:39 pm

   The other option is . . . eh, just let the little insomniacs lie awake.

   No harm done. They’ll just wind up like me.

   Oh.

10. walt on May 9th, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    That, essentially, is what we did, Sheila. The first night of us changing things up after reviewing the book involved two hours of sobbing, wailing, and carrying on kid’s part, with me and my wife (who were seriously sleep-deprived and nearly insane by this point) outside her door, quietly crying and holding each other.

    Night two was similar, but only an hour.

    Night three was about 15 minutes.

    And on the fourth night, there was no carrying on whatsoever, she gently kissed us both, rolled over, and immediately went to sleep.

    The thing about the book is that I needed to see the hole that we’re in, along with some encouragement to get a plan to get out of it. Michael, being far more sane and diligent than I, will probably not need it.

11. Sheila Ryan on May 9th, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    Ah, well, I was too inhibited, I think, to sob and wail. I just lay quietly in bed, whimpering, “Mother . . . mother . . . ”

    Then I listened to rock ‘n’ roll on the transistor radio.

    I think that before these phases my dad put me in the car (pre-car seat days) and drove me around and around the block with the radio tuned to KLIF-AM.

    I must have been a pain in the ass.

12. Joel Bernstein on May 9th, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    If my kids start screaming when I’m trying to sleep, they’re sleeping out in the garage.

13. Carole Corlew on May 9th, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Oh dear, those were horrific days. I ended up using the method used by pediatrician Richard Ferber, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital in Boston, who wrote Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems in 1985. You don’t let the kid cry it out, instead going in to check and maybe patting his back. There’s a schedule to it. After a couple of nights or up to a week, the baby figures out that the crying or whatever he is doing earns only a check or pat on the back from a parent. And surrenders.

14. Joel Bernstein on May 9th, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    How hard are these ‘pats’ delivered?

15. Sheila Ryan on May 9th, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    I’m wondering whether the method works with adults.

16. Carole Corlew on May 10th, 2011 at 7:23 am

    Naughty Joel. That’s an interesting idea, Shelia. There might be a book in that. Or a nutty short film.

17. Carole Corlew on May 10th, 2011 at 7:27 am

    And Joel, everybody thinks that. That they’ll toss out the baby if it won’t sleep. Then this creature shows up and it is YOU, and your older brother when he was a baby and you never saw him that way. And maybe with a way of looking sweet that reminds you of your mom being extra nice. All wrapped up in this cute little vulnerable baby package that you are responsible for keeping alive and well. And you can’t follow through on the ditching thing. You just can’t.

18. Cindy Scroggins on May 10th, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Cece–yes. Exactly.

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