May 31, 2011

My phone just buzzed

comments

  1. Deron Bauman on May 31st, 2011 at 11:58 am

    Hello?

  2. Mike Dresser on May 31st, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    “I’m giving you cancer, Mike. <3 Your Phone.”

  3. Deron Bauman on May 31st, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Thanks for calling. This has been a good talk.

  4. Cindy Scroggins on May 31st, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Thank you, drive through.

  5. Lex A on May 31st, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Thanks Apple for the headset/head phones combo. Lessthanthree.

  6. Michael Smith on May 31st, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Does the phrase “can possibly” bother anyone else?

  7. Deron Bauman on May 31st, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Intermittent bursts of gas from my butt can possibly cause olfactory discomfort.

  8. Sheila Ryan on May 31st, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Is “can possibly” a phrase equivalent to “may”? “May” is a slippery slope of a word.

  9. Joel Bernstein on May 31st, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    “May” is also a slippery slope of a month.

  10. Michael Smith on May 31st, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    Intermittent burst of gas from Deron’s butt can possibly, maybe, perhaps cause olfactory discomfort to those wearing military grade gas masks.

  11. Michael Smith on May 31st, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Mike, I’m thinking you’ve stumbled on to something. The “I’m giving you cancer” could be the new fart noise app.

    For $.99 your phone will randomly give you updates about its attempts to kill you.

  12. Joel Bernstein on May 31st, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    I will actually make that.

  13. Deron Bauman on May 31st, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Winning.

  14. Michael Smith on May 31st, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Ways your iPhone might try to kill you:

    1. Radiation.
    2. Send text message alerts with the GPS indicates you might be driving.
    3. Send you Groupons for all you can drink Whiskey nights.
    4. Alter driving directions into hazards, “turn left onto pier. Accelerate.”

  15. Cindy Scroggins on May 31st, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    #4 made me spew diet lemonade

  16. Sheila Ryan on May 31st, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    GPS devices are always trying to kill me with trick instructions. But I am too clever.

    Also, as Danny and Ricky can tell you, I am one of those obnoxious back-seat drivers who is forever spouting directions contrary to what the GPS android says.

  17. Michael Smith on May 31st, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    Once I was driving a friend somewhere only she’d been and she was trying to give directions. As I’m driving down an unfamiliar road from the back seat she, very calmly, says, “turn left back there.”

    Related to #4. In Alameda, Grand Street terminates at a boat ramp into the estuary. One night a woman was apparently lost and it was dark and she drove right down the boat ramp into the water. I think her family is suing the city for not having proper barriers to prevent accidentally driving into the water.

  18. Joel Bernstein on May 31st, 2011 at 5:22 pm

  19. Rick Neece on May 31st, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    Oh Sheila, not obnoxious. Between the GPS (ours is a guy), Danny, you, the rain and being in unfamiliar climes in an unfamiliar vehicle going 60 mph on six (there might have been only four) lanes with construction. My head was too full. I hope there was no offense taken, by my silence to your well-meant advice, I meant none. I was concentrating.

    When I know generally where I am and where I’m going, I’ll follow my prodigious nose. (This was not the case on our return to Dallas from heaven.)

    I’d happily join you one-of-these-days in Dallas and follow your nose on a personal tour. (It would be even better for me, if you drive.)
    XOR