posted by Joel Bernstein in civics, fail, fuck all y'all, sociology, this is why we can't have nice things | * | 95 comments
Wait, did I miss something?
Cindy and I are just contemplating the Canadianness of this and whether it matches our expectations.
Some of the photos are more Canadian than others.
That sixth one is pretty hot.
Yeah, that one has kind of a ‘V-J Day in Times Square’ feel to it.
My favorite is the guy who won’t write out fuck on his hate sign.
I think my favorite is the riot police showing up on horseback.
That one was so obvious as to be invisible. Thank you.
That comment was in response to the f!#k sign.
I like the Asian kid with the hockey stick.
And the shifty-eyed kid holding an $800 handbag with the tags still on it.
Oh, and the guy holding a bloody mannequin leg like a club.
I wonder what would’ve happened if they’d lost to a Texas team.
Hey. Let’s all move to Canada.
How would we say honk?
I think it’s just a quieter version of the way we already say it. Spelled the same. Kinda like New Zealand and Australia.
Okay, fuck it. Joel wins.
Technically, Joel weins.
Joel wins?! I’m going outside right now to flip some cars over. Joel wins…you know what
Sacramento is burning.
“Single Person Riot” would be an entertaining Improv Everywhere sketch.
Y’all boys are doing a good job of cheering me up today. Thank you.
Cindy, I’ll meet you downtown if you want to start something.
As soon as I get this car flipped, people will know there’s a riot and come join me.
Maybe I should go find a SmartCar.
So now some people are claiming the kissing photo was staged.
All photos are staged.
Some photos are more Canadian staged than others.
I can’t meet you, Deron. I’m in jail.
Wait, you mean those people weren’t just laying in the middle of a riot making out? You think they did that because of the camera man?
Next thing you’re going to tell me is that those guys with shirts tied up over their faces don’t always dress like that.
Cindy, I’m proud of you.
Thank you. I wasn’t going to let that Mavs parade go by without showing my Canadian side.
Mannequin flying through window takes the cake for me.
This is a good thread.
In a pinch, I could masturbate to more of these than I would like to.
Aaron: I count three. Maybe four, if you’re into girls crying in pain on the sidewalk.
Are we still going to Las Vegas in August? Because we could do something like this there.
Riot on the Strip!
Aaron. “In a pinch.”
Cindy, I hope so. Who’s on the planning committee?
Wait, let’s make Smith do it.
We are still at war. Over what I never knew to begin with. And now PEOPLE ARE RIOTING OVER A HOCKEY GAME. This is not real This is not real This is not real.
Am I planning the trip or the riot? Either way, I’m a little busy trying to flip this stupid car.
Michael, you’re planning the trip. You’re a shitty rioter.
What until you see my trip planning skills.
and my typing skills.
I like your sleeves. They’re real big.
I’m serious. Simone has to go. I want Simone in Vegas.
I’m laughing yet have no idea what you are talking about.
Look, I’m willing to drive all over the fucking place and pick people up for a road trip. As long as we agree to stay in tawdry places.
Simone knows tawdry.
Carole. Adopting the attitude of the blue jay in the living room. Because — well, what else can you do?
Today at work a Bruins fan tore down the Canadian flag hung by our VP and replaced it with an American one.
It’s been a good day.
Oh say can you see!
I wonder if Aaron would masturbate to that?
In a pinch.
Okay. I just don’t get it. A hockey team lost?
National honor was besmirched. Canadians were made out to be losers.
There are better honors to defend.
That’s why it’s reached the point of absurd comedy.
Yeah. I think I’m identifying with the victims too much here. Who, by the way, are not the rioters.
If it hadn’t been an actual real-life serious Destruction Party, I’d say, “Oh, those are scenes from Deron’s documentary! Cosplay! Reenactment!”
It does suck for the property owners and taxpayers and no mistake. But at a distance, as a spectacle, it looks like pure performance art.
Hey, someone got hit in the nuts with a flash grenade.
Riot. Mob-rule, scares me everytime I see it. During the Rodney King riots in LA, Danny and I watched, on the news, video, of a man dragged from his delivery truck, at a stop-light, passing through the neighborhood. A man threw a big rock and hit the delivery man in the head. The delivery man hit the ground and convulsed. The thrower, danced over him, then kicked him in the side.
Danny burst into tears. I held him. “It’s not happening, here,” I said. But it scared me that such things can happen at any given moment, wherever one lives.
Reginald Denny, Rick. How could you forget that. Nearly beaten to death while police just around the corner were ordered to leave the area instead of responding to help him.
I am not here I am not here. As you indicate, Shelia.
I did not know Canadians were as thuggish as us. And the self-named hooligans across the pond. One more little delusion up in gasoline smoke.
If there’s a question about the odds as to whether or not I would masturbate to it, the answer is… in the long run, the house always wins.
I’m gonna count cards.
Cindy, there are 52.
If we riot today, no one will expect it.
You’ll do great.
We can riot, count cards and masturbate all at the same time. In Vegas. While wearing maple leaf lapel pins.
I’m flipping cars like a mother fucker.
I want to kick some dude in the peanuts.
Shit, I’m back in jail.
Have fun masturbating.
Ok. My travel plan right now consists of Cindy driving to a location, Boston to begin with, picking people up and then driving them to Vegas and dropping them off. After Boston, she’ll drive to D.C and do the same thing. Then New York, KC, Dallas, LA, SF, Sacramento, and Portland.
Then she’ll start driving everyone home, in the same order.
Oh, and while she’s in Portland, she’ll probably start a riot.
Oh! I fogot Chicago.
I guess I just have to get myself to KC. Is that some kind of a cost-cutting thing?
Oh. Okay. I can get myself to Chicago! But really, Dubuque would be more convenient.
Also, Vancouver riot cheat sheet: This is why we can’t have nice things.
Dubuque then. Is there anywhere else she should have to go?
Deron, Michael is acting out again. Planning seems to be back to us. I will get to work on it as soon as somebody springs me from the hoosegow.
She’ll probably want to go to Reagan National to get Cece, but I utterly refuse to go there. She’ll have to make a separate trip to get me to Dulles International.