July 13, 2011

Dear Clusterflock

86-ed?

comments

  1. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Oh, man. Hey, Flannery. Your father is calling you.

  2. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 10:35 am

    Okay, let’s see what I can remember.

    1. Fort Worth Modern Art Museum for “They didn’t learn a fucking thing.”

    2. Baylor Emergency Room for “Fuck you, motherfuckers.”

    3. Chocolate Soup Children’s Clothing for “Because it’s illegal, assholes.”

    Hmmm. That can’t be all. I need to let it all come rising up.

  3. Flannery Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 10:54 am

    I got 86-ed from Austin, Texas once.

  4. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 10:57 am

    uh-huh

  5. Flannery Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:08 am

    Wait. There’s more.

    Fry’s Electronics
    The Chase Bank branch on Greenville and Mockingbird
    Two (2) Bank of America branches in Las Colinas
    Borders Books on Preston and Royal for a few years
    The JCPenney corporate offices
    Bruce’s old dog boarding place
    and (almost) High School

    Ryan frequently starts nervously inching toward the door and then it’s “Shit, we’ve gotta go.”

  6. Flannery Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:11 am

    Oh, and T-Mobile. That one involved actual security guards. The other places I was able to leave before the cops showed up.

  7. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:13 am

    We Scrogginses sure are an interesting bunch.

  8. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:17 am

    Some more of mine are rising to the surface.

    The now defunct Taylor’s Books on Northwest Highway (for quitting in a dramatic fashion).

    The now defunct children’s resale shop on Mockingbird that didn’t deserve Flannery’s used clothes.

    That Walmart in Richardson with the broken self-checkout system where the officious assistant-assistant manager thought she could condescend to me.

  9. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 11:25 am

    I’m going to go out and start a list today.

  10. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 11:28 am

    The Container Store on Northwest Highway where they asked for my phone number before I could pay.

  11. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 11:29 am

    The Angelika.

  12. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 11:30 am

    I’m sure Amy can add to my list. Also, I thought Daryl was the one with the anger problem.

  13. Flannery Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:37 am

    I don’t have an anger problem. Just a zero tolerance policy for dumbass-ness.

  14. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 11:41 am

    I have an anger problem.

  15. Daryl Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:46 am

    There are several people at a Ford dealership on Garland Road who would run if they saw me coming. Here’s the gist: “I am definitely not interested in leasing a truck.” Deal made, I go to the bank and withdraw the down payment and go back. “Well! We’ve signed you up on a lease here that’s going to save you all kinda money!” Bad words follow, trailing on across the crowded showroom floor. Cindy–stunningly beautiful–gave everybody a little wave goodbye.

    Ask Cindy about the Acura dealership. My part of it was: “She’s gone, chief.”

  16. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:48 am

    Oh, Daryl has a few for the list. Don’t worry.

    And, Deron! The Chocolate Soup “Because it’s illegal, assholes” was the same thing as your Container Store situation. They demanded a telephone number of the woman ahead of me in line, who was paying with a credit card. She politely declined and said that she would show them ID but that she wouldn’t give them her phone number. And the shithead manager proceeded to tell her that it was store policy, and the woman said that they have no legal right to require a phone number, and the shithead manager kept arguing with her, and the woman simply left. And the shithead manager tried to engage me in disparaging the woman who had been correct, and I said that I didn’t blame her for leaving, and the shithead manager said we have every right to make and enforce our own store policies, and I said not that one, and she said why not, and I said because it’s illegal, asshole, and then I threw the really cute bunch of clothes I was going to buy at her and left.

  17. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Hey, Deron. You still want to go laptop shopping with me?

  18. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:50 am

    Oh, yeah. The Acura. That guy pissed me off.

  19. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:52 am

    Man, that guy was a jerk.

  20. Daryl Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:53 am

    Woe to the person who assumes Cindy will join him or her in prejudicial conduct.

  21. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 11:55 am

    Cindy, yes.

  22. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Okay. I’m not always problematic. Really. Hardly ever, in fact. Shouldness, you know.

    I’m never going to a bank with Flannery, though.

  23. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 11:57 am

    At ease, Sargent? Is that what you told that guy?

  24. Daryl Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 11:59 am

    Stand down, Major

  25. Cindy Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    Oh, that was just me being funny. That time the old fart who looked like Charton Heston walked right out in front of our car and glared at us, and I rolled down the window and said “Stand down, Major.” I probably won’t do that when we’re out.

    Shit. Okay. Do things with me at your own risk.

  26. Deron Bauman on July 13th, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    That’s fucking perfect.

  27. Daryl Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    She said that and the guy looked like he was ready to come out of retirement.

  28. Daryl Scroggins on July 13th, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    “Where’s my goddam hat!”

  29. Aaron Winslow on July 13th, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    This is good. This has made me glad.

  30. Dave Vogt on July 13th, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    At the risk of surprising nobody: nowhere.