July 14, 2011

headline of the day, III

It’s totally worth reading the actual article, too. (via jim ray)

Robber who broke into hair salon beaten up by black-belt owner and kept as sex slave for three days… fed only Viagra

comments

  1. Andrew Simone on July 14th, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    I am just waiting for this to be a hoax.

  2. Michael Smith on July 14th, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Your link es broke.

  3. Andrew Simone on July 14th, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    Fixed.

  4. Michael Smith on July 14th, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    I’d have fixed it myself only I can’t access tumblr at work and was worried about Googling “hair salon sex slave.”

  5. Flannery Scroggins on July 14th, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    Bring out The Gimp.

  6. Deron Bauman on July 14th, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Headline of the century.

  7. Sheila Ryan on July 14th, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    With all due respect, Deron, I would at least place Victim of cannibal agreed to be eaten up there as a contender.

  8. Deron Bauman on July 14th, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Yeah, but look at the variables. They add up. They count for something.

  9. Sheila Ryan on July 14th, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Plus, there’s the penis-cutting-off angle.

  10. Sheila Ryan on July 14th, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    True. It would appear to be a question of style. Classical vs. baroque headline.

  11. Sheila Ryan on July 14th, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    Also, “it’s totally worth reading the actual [2003 Guardian] article, too.” It’s one of the best pieces of black journalistic humor I have ever read.

  12. Casey Cichowicz on July 14th, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    Wow, they block tumblr at work? I don’t think I could work under those conditions.

  13. Michael Smith on July 14th, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    Lester’s a real ass.

    He only allows access to intranet and goat porn, which, I suspect, is also an intranet site.

    Cindy’s Internet is filter free, but that’s because we pay her in monopoly money.

  14. Cindy Scroggins on July 15th, 2011 at 9:18 am

    Oh, Michael. Michael, Michael, Michael. That’s right–I pay for this fancy house, car and donkey gigolos with Monopoly money. You just can’t face the fact that Lester values me and not you. I know it’s hard, but honestly, man–get some help.

  15. Joel Bernstein on July 15th, 2011 at 10:59 am

    Flannery took my joke.