July 11, 2011
help help help help
Glenn Beck is moving to Dallas.
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Glenn Beck is moving to Dallas.
posted by Cindy Scroggins in assholes, calm the fuck down, death, dumbass texan spanish, fail, help me jesus, honk, let's go drink, science, this is why we can't have nice things, unbearable pain, vomit | * | 24 comments
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“Nobody is surprised by this, I’m sure.”
Thank God for Texas.
This is no joking matter!
I’m not joking.
There goes the neighborhood.
I’m thinking a couple of flocker boys and I might need to make a little field trip at some point.
It’s a protective device. You know, “Thank God for Mississippi,” that Alabamians have always said. Now I can add Texas. I’m sorry. I am shocked he didn’t move to Alabama. But relieved.
Brang it.
Carole, I used to know a man in the Keep Mississippi 50th club.
I’m crying in my beer.
First George W. Bush. Now Glenn Beck.
Rapture me now, Jesus.
Of course I’m like the 9-year-old boy on “Live” sitting in his mother’s basement pissing off the hoodlums in Russia or something. I would barricade myself inside the home of a gun-toting Virginia lunatic around the corner (actually there are a few to choose from) if I thought that little field trip was actually happening.
Texas is acting determined to get that spot. I have to say. And lots of Alabamians would like it too. Jeez. It’s a pill.
Oh, Carole, I meant a field trip to Beck’s new neighborhood. If we made a field trip to your neighborhood, we’d bring cookies!
Oh. Of course! See, thinking like someone from Mississippi, showing up with Bubba and his other brother Bubba.
Good news, Cindy, I can now say, with absolute certainty, that I will not be moving to Dallas.
DarylBubba, DeronBubba, AmyBubba, CindyBubba. Scurry team.
Hey, Michael, I left some apostrophes on your desk.
Those weren’t Hershey’s Kisses?
Nope.
The foil made it convincing.
Thank you. I thought it a nice touch.
“And we’ve started GBTV which is already more wildly successful than we had imagined that we would be. It’s not even on the air yet and it’s already successful.”
You’re a winner if you just say it many times no matter what’s actually happening.
In front of a mirror.
Only the best audience will do.