July 3, 2011

things I heard last week

And the steward said, I need to wake you up, you’re making my back hurt

Electric, can we get power to video village? Thank you.

Let me get you a list of things I do not like

Lime juice, Robituson, and Dayquil, all in equal parts

I’m so glad I’m 21, I can rent a box truck

Apparently I’m not a juice connoisseur

Give us a cigar, Castro

If you can see camera, it can see you

The business world has moved from handshakes to high-fives

Lettuce is hard

Broken pretty dishes you can always make into something pretty, you know?

So, we’re taking it from I don’t know why I lie so much

So we’re just going to follow the bird as it gets whispered down the line

I only like watermelon a little bit

This’ll take us out to the road where we were

Everything I do is an expression of my creativity

posted by in found, language | * | 13 comments 

comments

  1. Sheila Ryan on July 3rd, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    This’ll take us out to the road where we were.

    This’ll take us out to where the road where we were took us.

  2. Deron Bauman on July 3rd, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Them’s my fighting names.

  3. Daryl Scroggins on July 3rd, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    You know those charts for semaphore flag signaling? Reading through this list does that to me. That’s a good thing, by the way. I often instantly assign shapes to subjectively rich possibilities.

  4. Deron Bauman on July 3rd, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Do you see anything here, specifically?

  5. Daryl Scroggins on July 3rd, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Yes. For example: “Lettuce is hard” is a trashy woman with a gin & tonic.

  6. Deron Bauman on July 3rd, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    I like it.

  7. Deron Bauman on July 3rd, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    None of us are more than differences from another except for all of us that is opposite of that.

  8. Daryl Scroggins on July 3rd, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    That’s the (cartoon) Tasmanian Devil right there.

  9. Deron Bauman on July 3rd, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    I’m afraid to say more, but I want to.

  10. Sheila Ryan on July 3rd, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    Kind of like what Daryl said about semaphore signal charts (but not), this also reminds me of the “Forms of Address” appendices you used to find in the back of dictionaries.

    How to address the Archbishop of Canterbury.

    How to address a Brigadier General (Ret.).

    How to address a Baronet.

    How to present oneself in the face of the unknown or unfamiliar.

  11. Daryl Scroggins on July 3rd, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    Sheila–yes, forms of address. I always saw such appendices and thought of Woody-Allen-tear-up-the-driver’s-license-problem-with-authority. “Guess I’ll be going now, fuckyouverymuch.”

  12. Cindy Scroggins on July 4th, 2011 at 7:30 am

    I hear Amanda Mae in several of these.

  13. Deron Bauman on July 4th, 2011 at 9:45 am

    I think only incidentally, but she, or things she wrote, get picked up in a few of them.

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