August 30, 2011

“But, Andrew, you’re an affable guy”

is what people say to me when I tell them just how much I honestly hate most people. For those who have stood before me confused by such statements, I present to you a wonderful illustration of why.

comments

  1. Andrew Simone on August 31st, 2011 at 12:00 am

    Tim’s comment on this is perfect.

  2. Deron Bauman on August 31st, 2011 at 12:40 am

    Like, how would you ever get past the web-net of language you constructed in order to show-hide yourself enough to intimidate-trick someone into a date. Not you. The people in the advertisements.

  3. Sheila Ryan on August 31st, 2011 at 9:08 am

    Wow, and here I was thinking that my Meet the Flockers introduction was cringe-making.

  4. Daryl Scroggins on August 31st, 2011 at 9:24 am

    This is great fun to read, although it’s sort of like looking at wrecks along the highway. Inventing these things is actually a great way for a writer to invent characters. “Lonely guy seeks goat. Must be piebald and Duchampish.”

  5. Cindy Scroggins on August 31st, 2011 at 10:01 am

    This seems a good place to say I’ve been singing “Tyrone” ever since yesterday afternoon. Y’all should hear me. I’m singing it right now in my office.

    I’m gettin tired of yo shit
    You don’t never buy me nothin

  6. Erica on August 31st, 2011 at 11:21 am

    I’m naming my next cat “Tyrone” and changing my name to Erica Bidet.

  7. Cindy Scroggins on August 31st, 2011 at 11:22 am

    That sounds sensible.

  8. Erica on August 31st, 2011 at 11:30 am

    As sensible as some Easy Spirit pumps.

  9. Amanda Mae on August 31st, 2011 at 11:34 am

    I’m sorry I super love the n+1 personals.

    I think I must have been in a contrary mood these past few weeks but I love dancing girls and fat baby and I love these and I love ever-thang!

    Oh Cindy. Submit that to n+1.

  10. Cindy Scroggins on August 31st, 2011 at 11:39 am

    I submit to no one.

    I pay your way
    And your homeboy’s way
    And sometimes your cousin’s way!

    Uh, you bedda call Ty-rone
    –call him–
    And tell him come on
    And help you
    Git Yo Shit

    I sing my own backup.