August 11, 2011

Iowa State Fair Update

Gigantor: A one-pound hamburger served between two grilled cheese sandwiches and topped with macaroni and cheese will make its debut at the Bird’s Nest at the top of the hill at 3000 East Grand Ave., by the AE Dairy Stage.

comments

  1. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    The Grilled Cheese Grill here in Portland has something very much like that, called the Burger Behemoth, but with only a 1/3 lb burger patty.

    My wife got one, said it was pretty good.

  2. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    I’ll check our local Culver’s to see if it’s on the menu. As part of a Pecan Turtle combo.

  3. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    It’s not on the official Culver’s menu, though you could probably buy a burger and a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and assemble your own.

  4. Deron Bauman on August 11th, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Debutant.

  5. Jamie on August 11th, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Now I really wish I were able to get out there. I mean, that burger would likely kill me, but what a way to go…

  6. Michael Smith on August 11th, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Nobody makes monstrosities like this for vegetarians.

    Read that as a request.

  7. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Michael. I read your mind. A friend and I have been pondering vegetarian (and near-vegan) versions of Swedish smörgåstårta. I will update you as necessary and desirable.

  8. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 1:24 pm
  9. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    But not vegan.

  10. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    Solution: margarine

  11. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Sold with those little pellets of food coloring that the state of Wisconsin used to require all the way into the 1960s? As demanded by the dairy lobby. So that people would be forced to see margarine in its natural (unnatural) state and would know that it was NOT BUTTER.

  12. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Fried margarine on a stick. Mmmnh-mmmnh, good.

  13. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    With a Big Gulp of canola oil.

  14. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

  15. Erica on August 11th, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    Is there even vegan frying oil?

  16. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    I don’t see any reason why safflower or canola oil wouldn’t be vegan.

  17. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    So long as you do not exploit an animal, I think it qualifies as vegan. You can do anything you want with peanuts (and other nuts) and with olives and, I assume, with any and all manner of seeds. Press them to death and extract their oil.

  18. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Which is one reason I can never become a vegan, my brain would instantly try to compensate for the missing foods by devising The Least Healthy Vegan Menu Ever.

  19. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    We’re in harmony with all of nature, except for plants. Fuck plants.

  20. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Speaking of one particular group of oilseed cultivars, my Wisconsin friend Sandy used to buy seed for her grandpa’s canary, Peter. She always bought what Grandpa said was Peter’s favorite. Rapeseed.

    And we laughed.

    Okay. Over and out.

  21. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    I think that’s where this comes from.

  22. Michael Smith on August 11th, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Ok. Fried butter on a stick is vegetarian, but it’s just a fried food.

    I was more requesting something like fried butter on a stick between two grilled cheese sandwiches topped with macaroni and cheese.

  23. Michael Smith on August 11th, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    One of the annoying things about being a vegetarian, apart from the explaining that “no, I do not eat fish,” is that everyone assumes it means I don’t eat food that is unhealthy.

  24. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    What about chicken?

  25. Michael Smith on August 11th, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    The best was the time I asked the server at the chinese restaurant if something was vegetarian and she looked at me kind of funny and said, “Yes, it has vegetables.”

    “No, I mean does it have meat in it?”

    “Oh! Oh! No. No. No meat. Just pork.”

  26. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Michael, you shoulda been along with us years ago at the taverna in the little Greek village when my then-sister-in-law inquired about vegetarian dishes. Our server, at least 6’6″, glared down and uttered the words, “Meat. Only.”

  27. Casey Cichowicz on August 11th, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Michael, I’ve gotten that exact same reaction before. “No meat, just [insert animal here]“.

  28. Cindy Scroggins on August 11th, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    My favorite was the time I ordered something with no chicken, it was served with chicken, I pointed it out, and the server told me it was okay, they wouldn’t charge me for the chicken.

  29. Michael Smith on August 11th, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    There’s a Papa Murphy’s (take and bake pizza for those who might not know) by our house and they always send us coupons for Pepperoni Pizza. The coupon makes a pepperoni pizza cheaper than a cheese pizza. So I regularly go in and order a pepperoni pizza with no pepperoni. Last time the guy at the cash register said, “You mean a cheese pizza?”

    “Like that,” I said, “but with this coupon.”

  30. Carole Corlew on August 11th, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Well. Sister brought a bag of Krystal burgers into her lake house, said “want some?” and I went into a sort of fugue state and ate two. Then I remembered I don’t eat that sort of thing. It was a slip. Dang they were good, though!

  31. Casey Cichowicz on August 11th, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Michael, your pepperoni pizza story reminds me of when Subway had a “get one 6″ sub, get another one free” coupon. I went in, ordered a 12″ sub, they made it, and when I got to the register, presented my coupon. They said I couldn’t use it, because it was intended for two 6″ subs and I’d just ordered a 12″ sub. I protested, saying that I thought I was saving them time by not ordering two separate 6″ subs, and I wasn’t trying to pull a fast one. But they just didn’t understand.

  32. Joel Bernstein on August 11th, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Which is extra funny because they cut the footlong subs in half.

  33. Erica on August 11th, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Carole, Krystal burgers are sooo good. It’s one of the few reasons I wish my sister still lived in Boca Raton.

  34. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Cindy pulls a Jack Nicholson.

  35. Carole Corlew on August 11th, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Erica, aren’t they? One of the Shoppers Food Warehouses actually had them for a while, frozen, not far from here in Northern Virginia. I introduced them to Mr. B. and his band of hooligans and they liked them, so I served them at a kid party. A couple from Tennessee I know had a bunch shipped up for a cocktail party at a museum.

    Although really you need to get them hot off the grill for the full-on crack cocaine of hamburger experience. I mean, how many people ended a wild night sitting in the parking lot with a “sack” of Krystals. Well, near the end of the night, anyway. Heh heh,Erica.

  36. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    Mr. B. and his band of hooligans.

  37. Rick Neece on August 11th, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    This reminds me of a scene in Everything is Illuminated.

    And.

  38. Cindy Scroggins on August 11th, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Sheila–Right between your legs!

  39. Cindy Scroggins on August 11th, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Oh, wait–knees?

  40. Sheila Ryan on August 11th, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    “Between your knees,” as I recall. Or my knees, in this instance.

    I bet that line was rewritten.