August 31, 2011
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- Sheila Ryan: The thing is, I think of the disco phase as a kind of anomaly in the Bee Gees’ career. To me,...
- Derek White: First Donna Summer, now Robin Gibb. It appears disco really is dying.
- Sheila Ryan: Nice selection from Robin Gibb’s heyday as lead singer from Bill Crandall in Rolling Stone.
- Casey Cichowicz: And health, wealth, and happiness to those that eat them.
- Sheila Ryan: Eggs.
- Erica: Perhaps we can pick up John Waters.
- Josh Weichhand: Ugh… Yes, to all of the above. Miss you guys. Miss the time I was able to spend here. I miss...
- Sheila Ryan: In the back of my Honda Element, the moveable roadside attraction.
- Sheila Ryan: You are very good. Pray continue in this vein.
- Cooper: You are both very kind. Thank you.
- Erica Braverman: Where’s the world’s largest fork and stack of bacon?
- Casey Cichowicz: Also, I think the new Here We Go Magic album is quite good.
- Sheila Ryan: Also, it is a wonderful story, and I really want to believe it was not a contrived stunt. Damn. I want...
- Joel Bernstein: It was mostly for you.
- Sheila Ryan: Well, you just know I love that, Joel.
I’m quite taken with Angry Butter.
The memory of milk. Wait, I think her drawings were in NOON.
I like her. She should be a flocker.
Agreed. Also that other dude who every time Andrew posts one of his drawings I ask if he knows him. Hey, Andrew, do you know him?
Sadly, I do not.
Are you sure? I’ll probably ask again.
I think I know who you mean, Deron. Some guy who’s a friend of Andrew’s, maybe?
Yeah, I wonder if Andrew knows him? Or Hannah Richards.
I’m gonna sing Tyrone to Hannah Richards and Andrew’s friend.
Does Andrew know Tyrone?
I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?
Call him.
We’ll be on the phone for hours.
Hey, Deron. You know what I want as a retirement gift? A jackhammer.
Shit, I can get you a jackhammer by three o’clock.
Wrap it pretty.
The jackhammer is a subtle beast. I actually know the technique and love it.
Lavender soda and salmon salad.
Bust it up, Cindy. We have concrete that needs to go. Wanna come up?
Deron?
Deron? Is Salmon salad lunch? I’m just askin’. It would be for me and Amae. I don’t know if Andrew could ascribe.
Rick, I would love to come up for a visit!
Last week I worked three opening shifts in a row and on the morning of the third one, a man and his mother were directed to my register. She handed me their three or four items and he thrust his torso over the counter across my boundary of personal space and grilled me with “Are you married?” and “But you’re dating?”
I patiently answered his questions with the truth, which I found myself relieved by and grateful for, then finished the transaction with his mother. When I opened the store yesterday, I was struck by how defended I felt against my customers. I even received my second customer complaint in eleven months. This job may not be working out quite like it used to before I started learning how to be true to me.
Dammit, I just lost what I think may have been the funniest thing I’ve ever written. I don’t think I can recreate it.
Not that my sentiment was funny. Oh, Kelsey, poke fuckers like that in the eye. Your realizations notwithstanding. Sometimes a fucker needs to get poked in the eye. Just my take.
Funniest thing I’ve ever written? Take that with a grain, if you will. I don’t know. What do I know?
Rick! If I could bear the thought of touching a person like that, a poke in the eye might work. My go-to fantasy is sticking my foot in front of his legs on his way out the door. I sincerely debated that one.
I’m in a service profession, and I stress the importance of excellent service at all times. But the delivery of good service in no way requires us to put up with assholes. Kelsey, I’m glad to know that you are seeing that line. If you have good managers, they will see it with you.
Love you, dear. You needn’t touch him. Wish him well on his way. There may be come-uppance, for him, one day.
We can’t hold retribution in our hearts very long before it becomes poison.
Hm. Remind me to tell you about the amateur dominatrix I work for.
I wish I was kidding.
I mean, shouldn’t living out your fantasies around submission and direction make you less domineering and dehumanizing in the rest of your life?
Oh! Girl? I think Danny knows another? In NYC. I don’t know much. You know I live on the periphery of the stuff that happens in the world.
Or maybe more? Is it about control? I don’t know. I seek less to control, than to be controlled.
Wait, I’m not sure I mean that as fully said.
Okay, Kelsey, time for Plan B: kick your dominatrix in the peanuts.
I’m ready.
I have my shit, girl! Uncontrollable! Danny knows this and allows me. Sits with me in tangents. I couldn’t be in a more perfect place.
Sometimes there are magical places in the world. I’m lucky to have found one.
Recently I figured out that my super awesome boss lady is just an excellently performed good cop with an all-too-willing bad cop working underneath her.
Rick, I feel lucky to have you! I’m sure we all do.
Thank you, dear. Be well and happy. I say it to Amae, I’ll say it to you. Just go, girl, go, go, go!
Rick, I’m on it, but I might need a more substantial lunch if we’re busting a lot of concrete. Kelsey, if you want anyone poured under fresh concrete, let me know as well.
Deron, Danny loves to bring red-meat as a repast from the grill. Burgers and fries. Maybe? Or not. Deron, just you say what you need. It will be broughten.
Carbs, baby. Carbs. I’ll tear that concrete up pronto. Or I can tell you the secret. It’s a hell of a lot of fun.
I love destruction, Deron. I’m good at it. I can totally carry rocks away from the site. It’s the aftermath I worry about. I’ll eat the fuck out of carbs.
I’m just going to see how big I can get. Potatos and gravy-ish. Not sweets. I’m not too much a sweets kind of person. Except. Sometimes.
I’m not a sweets person either. Mashed potatoes and gravy. Turkey at Thanksgiving. Rolls. That’ll work. The secret with the sledgehammer is to let it do the work for you. You hold yourself still and let the hammer go. You guide it, like what do they say about how to hold a bird? Then, once a crack begins to open up, you guide the chisel to the hairline and open it. It splits as effortlessly as butter. Move to a new location. Repeat.
Jackhammer, you meant; not sledgehammer. But, yes. It’s a beautiful thing. And also kind of true of sledgehammers, but a wuss like me isn’t strong enough to swing those.
I can lift a jackhammer by hooking it on my elbows and holding it close to my chest, and then edge it into place. A sledge requires real strength, but if you can get some velocity onto it with accuracy, it’s brilliant.
Mass, momentum. Amazing, when pointed in the right direction.
I still hate physics, though.
Yes, jackhammer. Thank you.