September 5, 2011
from the spam
My friend and were discussing schemes to conquer the world and we found the planning stages to be quite burdensome. So much to take into consideration! Our ultimate goal is to obtain enough financing to build a weapon capable of deflecting an asteroid to put it on a collision course with the planet Earth. With this technology we could easily hold the entire planet hostage and enslave the entire human race. Any ideas how we could finance this? Thanks, everyone.
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I’m pretty sure we could help with this.
Make the asteroid look like genitalia and rent out telescopes.
I’ve given this some thought, and I think this sounds risky. What if the slightly unhinged scientist we find to construct this weapon turns against us at the last minute, taking with him the only plans for the diabolical weapon? Then we’ll feel foolish.
You want an asteroid deflecting weapon? I can get you an asteroid deflecting weapon, believe me. There are ways, Dude.
It’s not clear to me why the guy who deflected the asteroid is the only one with the ability to prevent it from hitting Earth.
Send it to Mars instead and watch on the big screen.
…we found the planning stages to be quite burdensome.
This was exactly my experience when I dabbled in world domination. I’m not really a “details” guy more of a “big picture” type of planner. As it turns out, with world domination, the devil is in the details.
For example, that time I hatched a plot to highjack several military satellites and broadcast mind controlling radio signals across the globe I was foiled by something as mundane as payroll. It turns out, even henchmen will stop showing up to work if you forget to approve their timesheets. Needless to say, it was pretty embarrassing standing outside that military base, alone, as my henchmen all went down to the local Starbucks and got paying gigs as baristas.
Those guys do make a mean macchiato.