whoa
I just had a miniature explosion – the good kind – inside my head. I don’t quite know how to tell the story, but I’ll try to do it linearly. That’s usually a good strategy.
1st: I become an English teacher and rely almost completely on a book by Jim Burke to figure out what I’m doing. I think it’s a great book. I read every word, including the eloquent epigraph from one of Burke’s students:
Without companions, the world is a sea of stories with no one to listen.
2nd: I join Clusterflock.
3rd: I find that a certain Clusterflocker – Kelsey Parker – was the author of that epigraph.
4th: I hum “It’s a small world” to myself incessantly.
offre tree free for the taking
Posted to the Dubuque Freecycle group:
a tree fell in my yard could use for fire wood
spam from elsewhere
really important: cialis
The world of the heterosexual
Commentary courtesy of Aunt Ida (Edith Massey), “Female Trouble” (John Waters).
from an old professor of mine on Facebook
“Kathy, weeding the flower bed, is better than a flock of wise goats.”
quotes out of context
Bluetooth Smart devices are designed to gather a specific type of information — are all the windows on my house locked, what is my insulin level, how much do I weigh today? — and send it to a Bluetooth Smart Ready device.
“If the FBI and J Edgar Hoover’s friends and associates resist the notion that the blackmailing, extorting, empire-building, racist, homophobic man was gay, fine, whatever they wish to think,” Hearne said. “The straights can have him.”
I rolled my eyes as he loudly declared the turgidity of his penis, suddenly wondering how I was going to explain to my friends that I’d hooked up with someone whose favorite movie was Garden State.
And then he said, ‘I have Libya’s best composer, most famous composer write this song for you,’ and it was called ‘Black Flower in the White House.’
from the comments
What you don’t see is that offscreen, Rick Perry’s bus just exploded in slow motion.
my current desktop
from the spam
Aaron Rzadczynski is renting in Gilbert while whitepages mylife is based out of Knoxville.
dear clusterflock
Strong silent type.
quote out of context
Or, if you really want to prove your dedication to art, take off all your clothes and lie with friends or strangers in a modified sensory deprivation tank in heavily salinized water, heated to the temperature of human skin.
photo out of context
in a haze
seeing isn’t necessary, running is. so say the limbs to the eyes.
screams echo in a haze but there is no body.
Police fire tear gas at protesters in Oakland
(thanks, Sarah)
headline of the day
Today Is the Last Day to Have Sex with an Animal in Florida—Legally
quote out of context
Someday the Occupy Wall Street protests will end, and the only question is whether they will go out with a bang or a whimper—or a lot of loud banging followed by whimpers.
Toys Playing Uno
days of yore
Peely
From the old blog of clusterflock friend Pete Ashton, his post in the aftermath of John Peel’s death seven years ago today:
In fact I’ll go out on a limb and say it’s not really about the music. The music is a conduit for something else, something quite intangible which I think comes down to that fucked up sense of juxtaposition he imposed on us. He made having an open mind cool, which is saying something when you think about it. Once you’d accepted that you could listen to every form of every form of music and appreciate it on its own merits then you could apply this to everything else in life. Any form of creative endeavour is worthwhile. The fact that someone, anyone, is doing something different and interesting becomes vital.
Trust me, don’t read this
And definitely don’t click on any of the image links
Ebert’s Glossary of Movie Terms
Such an exhaustive list of clichés and film terms in films I have never seen. Here are a few of my favorites:
Balloon Rule
Good movies rarely contain a hot-air balloon. Most egregious recent use of a hot-air balloon: MEN DON’T LEAVE, where the heroine is cured of clinical depression by a ride in one. (Readers keep writing in with exceptions to this rule, including WITNESS, but the general principle still applies.)
Cole Rule, The
No movie made since 1977 containing a character with the first name “Cole” has been any good. (Exception: DAYS OF THUNDER, which was good but not all that good.)
“Hay Wagon!”
Rural version of “Fruit cart!” (q.v.). At the beginning of chase scenes through colorful ethnic locales, knowledgeable film buffs anticipate the inevitable scene in which the speeding sports car will get stuck on a narrow country lane behind a wagon overloaded with hay.
Law of Take-out Chinese Food
Take-out Chinese food is eaten in one of only two situations: Communally by a large, multi-ethnic group enthusiastically working on a common project (REVERSAL OF FORTUNE), or in bed by two post-coital lovers (ANNIE HALL). In the former case, the meal predicts success; in the latter, that the couple will break up.
Myopia Rule
Little girls who wear glasses in the movies always tell the truth. Little boys who wear glasses in the movies always lie.
(via The Lone Gunman)
Tomorrow, it’s one day closer to the White House
If you haven’t already seen this Herman Cain campaign ad, you owe it to yourself to take a look. It’s no Demon Sheep, but still.
quotes out of context
“I made a photocopy of the DNA test results and went straight to the prosecutor’s office. There I lodged an official complaint about being given the wrong baby in the maternity hospital,” Yuliya said.
I think it’s one of life’s sweetest moments when we find the people or things that are right for us, or fit us, or resonate with us, or compliment us. And that’s how I feel about me and reversibility.
“How do you keep a secret that long?” Boilard said.
Any philosophical or artistic exploration of averages inevitably descends — or ascends — into the absurd.
Chevy Rips-Off Dear Photograph
Not too many seem to be watching the Rangers – Cardinals World series, so maybe this has gone unnoticed, but Chevrolet seems to have done a pretty thorough job of ripping off Dear Photograph.
from the comments
I think of all the dinosaurs as figments of Satan.
