comments

1. Kelsey Parker on November 16th, 2011 at 6:09 pm

   Hearts!

2. Kelsey Parker on November 16th, 2011 at 6:10 pm

   Just kidding.

3. Deron Bauman on November 16th, 2011 at 6:11 pm

   Well done.

4. Kelsey Parker on November 16th, 2011 at 6:12 pm

   I still vividly remember walking to the nearest Walgreen’s when I was nine with the clear intention of pocketing a bottle of nail polish. Is there any real way to atone for that?

5. Rich Marotti on November 16th, 2011 at 6:13 pm

   a mag lite, nuts & bolts, various tools. If I’d kept it all I might’ve been able to open my own small little corner hardware store. With a clever punny name regarding theft. maybe.

6. Aaron Winslow on November 16th, 2011 at 6:25 pm

   Razor blades, candy bars, a miniature book about cats, little figurines, use of laundromat machines, some skateboarding paraphernalia. When I was 4 or 5, I took money out of my father’s wallet and hid it under the couch. Does sneaking into the movies count?

7. Rich Marotti on November 16th, 2011 at 6:26 pm

   Terabytes of media?

8. Dave Vogt on November 16th, 2011 at 7:22 pm

   Your will to resist me. And that turns you on, doesn’t it?

9. Casey Cichowicz on November 16th, 2011 at 8:10 pm

   You beat me to this, Deron. I actually had been thinking about my stapler for a while, and was thinking of a Dear Clusterflock post about “what is your earliest memory of doing something you knew was wrong”.

10. Deron Bauman on November 16th, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    I guess I stole your dear clusterflock.

11. Amanda Mae on November 16th, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    I stole money from my mom when I was young to buy tiny fake food from a dollhouse store on our block. Tangerines from a tree I was expressly forbidden from eating from, like a surly citric Eve.

    I stole a gallon of ice cream from an organic food store by placing it in my purse. That was maybe two years ago.

    I stole sunglasses from Target maybe five years ago. When I lost them I went back and stole the same ones again.

    I accidentally stole some underwear from Target a few weeks ago since it was under some bins and she never rung it up. I knew when I got to the car but I didn’t do anything. I don’t know why.

    I’m good at stealing things. I don’t do it anymore. I never felt bad, it’s just not the right thing to do. Apparently I do do it anymore.

12. Andrew Simone on November 16th, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    Outside of a fair amount of software in my day, only food during some of my poorer days. I don’t feel bad about either, really.

13. Dave Vogt on November 16th, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    One virginity, the other one is questionable.

14. Derek White on November 16th, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    Stealing was expected behavior where I grew up (Beaverton, OR). We used to steal things from Fred Meyer & keep a tally. We didn’t steal things we wanted or needed, we just stole for the idea of it, who could steal the most. The only thing I remember stealing because I wanted were 45″ singles (shoved down my pants). When I got caught, I was stealing fishing lures that I was intending to buy but my friend walked out in front of me & didn’t get caught so I followed.

    Now I only steal digital things, but only because they make it so hard to buy or even rent these things overseas. They treat you like a criminal so why not act like one.

15. Sheila Ryan on November 17th, 2011 at 12:41 am

    Oh, in addition to what I already listed, drugs. The less about that, the better. It’s the only thievery I feel guilty about, not on account of the drugs per se, but because they were someone else’s prescription drugs, and he thought he was either losing his mind or turning into an addict when they kept disappearing.

16. Dave Vogt on November 17th, 2011 at 8:01 am

    Prescription drugs are a different matter, but a discussion came up the other day of stealing illicit drugs. There’s not much in the way of recourse. What are you going to do? “Officer, this man stole four ounces of marijuana from me!”

17. Carole Corlew on November 17th, 2011 at 8:26 am

    Chocolate kisses. Got caught and had to apologize to the shopkeeper and write 100 times “Thou shalt not steal.” Exodus 20:15

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