December 26, 2011
Did I ever tell you about the time . . .
Is it boring? Does it involve a musician? Will everyone on the internet go, “Pft! Are you kidding? Is that it? Your story?”
Yes?
Congratulations. Post it here.
I made it to the Hall of Tedium on Christmas Day with my Dave Davies story:
Dave Davies wanted some tortilla chips.
Clusterflock friend Pete Ashton’s Belinda Carlisle story was a Boxing Day feature:
I sold Belinda Carlisle a book about giant squids.
comments


Hey, Pete’s dull story was the 100th post.
Thank you.
Did I ever tell you about the time I cooked dinner for Belinda Carlisle? At her & Morgan Mason’s house in Cap d’Antibe. I don’t think she liked my cooking much. Their kids were running around & she was sort of poopy & dumpy looking, unprepared for unexpected houseguests.
Calamari tacos.
Can’t remember what I cooked, some sort of pasta, with loads of garlic which i think turned her off.
Calamari tacos sounds good. With loads of garlic and maybe some Hatch green chiles.
I harbor deep suspicion of anyone who does not like loads of garlic.
Derek, did you maybe use squid ink pasta? (With loads of garlic.)
Calamari nachos. (Trying to think of a way to combine my Dave Davies-tortilla chips story with Pete’s Belinda Carlisle-giant squid story.)
Great. Now, I want a squid taco with garlic and hatch chilies. And a pyramidal wedge of lime. And an horchata.
Deron, does the gas station taquería on Sylvan serve squid tacos?
No, but they’ll give you five salsas when you ask for six.
No squid ink. It was rather impromptu, using whatever they had on hand. More like feeding hash-induced munchies is the way i remember it (me not being one with the munchies, but feeding it).
Speaking of hatch green chilies, i think i’ve mutated an insanely tasty & spicy variety of habanero, that is also insanely prolific. We have one plant on our patio that has been feeding us nightly for the past 6 months or so. Even with latex gloves on, i have to hold my head as far away from the cutting board as possible—that’s how spicy they are. But oh, so delicious. Tonight is black beans & buffalo mozz tacos (with homemade tortillas of course as there is no other way here), with habanero salsa that, perhaps due to the Roman influence (and perhaps also sacrilegiously), i’ve taken to making occasionally with basil & virgin olive oil & lemon.
Mutant habaneros in the Eternal City.
Someone needs to figure out how to skype smell or taste.
I love it when a garden plant takes off like that, although sometimes it makes me worry that the soil has some kind of errant isotope in it (50s giant ant movies). I had a banana pepper plant like that a couple of years ago that must have crossed with an anaheim pepper plant because it had the cool sweetness of a banana pepper and a bite, too. That one plant produced like the one Derek mentions here.
Also, isn’t there a dish served in Mexico called Pulpo in su Tincto? Octopus cooked in its own ink. Why is there so much gastronomic technique that heads straight for morbid irony? Lark tongues in honey, porcupine-kabobs…. Maybe it’s because tired minds (mine) register form even in a daze.
Yes, Daryl. When plants have minds of their own.
Also, I confess I have a weakness for morbidly ironic culinary wit. And although this is not in quite the same vein as the examples you note, I did like the pork tenderloin-wrapped-in-bacon that Nick cooked for Christmas brunch again this year. It’s on its way to becoming a Thing, people are thinking. (Formerly known as a Tradition.)
Oh. Let us not forget “Mother and Child Reunion”.
Update: Christmas pork ca. 2009.
Sheila–yes. Pork in pork is a fecund phrase of the can’t-get-too-much-of-a-good-thing sort, whereas the other kind has hints of being eaten by one’s guard dog.
Daryl: Swallered up by your own best self, as it were. The world turned inside out.
chicken fried chicken stuffed baked chicken bits in a gizzard
Cornmeal-crusted gator stuffed with catfish nuggets and garnished with gar balls.
noodles?
That’s just nasty.