February 5, 2012

Super Bowl Party Checklist

Michael Smith: Meatless chili (some ground meat substitute, beer, espresso, broth, spices, peppers, tofu, onion, and garlic).

Deron Bauman: Gluten-free vegan nachos.

Sheila Ryan: Refreshing lemon dessert.

Or: New England vs. Manhattan clam chowder.

posted by in commercials, food, gazpacho, let's go drink, public policy, randy taylor, recipes, shouldness, spilled coffee, sports, television | * | 101 comments 

comments

  1. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Ryan! How dare you put my name next to that!

  2. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Bauman! It’s a joke, son! Put in some gluten and slap on some cheese and you’ll be good to go.

  3. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Oh, and for the record: I lean toward New England clam chowder.

  4. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Ryan! I know!

  5. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    I didn’t even know there was a Manhattan chowder. That looks really good to me.

  6. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I know that the New York chowder is what I should like, being less gloopy and less loaded with carbs and all.

    And “my people” even have roots in NYC and Long Island. But the two sides merged and moved to Connecticut. Hartford area. Halfway to Boston. So I’m all confused.

  7. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    How the fuck am I going to root for the Giants?

  8. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    The red chowder is kind of a Portugese thing, or so I’ve heard. Not especially a New York thing. It makes sense.

  9. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    Rooting for the Giants: think of it as “Go, immigrants! Wretched refuse of your teeming shore! Homeless! Tempest-tossed!” Think of rooting for the Patriots as: “Daughters of the American Revolution! Boston Brahmins! Baked beans! Cod!”

  10. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    I’ve never had this much angst deciding who to root for. Jesus.

  11. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    And this is good old Boston,
    The home of the bean and the cod,
    Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots,
    And the Cabots talk only to God.

  12. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    I hate the fucking Giants. But the Patriots!

  13. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Angst. Indecision. That is, like, so Protestant. So New England. So City on the Hill. So SInners in the Hands of an Angry God.

  14. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    Why couldn’t the Saints be in the game? Or at least the Packers.

  15. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Adopt a serene attitude of not-caring.

  16. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Yeah, right.

  17. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Breathe deeply and smile seraphically. Resist the inclination to shout or flail about.

  18. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    GIANTS OR PATRIOTS??????????????

  19. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Coming over with a big bowl of New England Clam Chowder, slab of Boston Brown Bread, and bucket of Indian Pudding. Put you in a food coma.

    Alternately, I could toss the I Ching and tell you who to root for.

  20. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    Also, you’re just going to agitate yourself watching all that pre-game hoo-hah.

  21. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    I typed out a longish comment talking through the pros and cons, but lost it. Sweet Jesus.

  22. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    Sheila, I put some thought into what time it was appropriate to turn the pre-game on. When I was a kid, I used to watch all day.

  23. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    You know why you lost that comment, don’t you? You were all agitated.

  24. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Up in here.

  25. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Deron, I got up at 2:00 AM the other night, after an hour of fitful sleep, and watched all six hours of the Djokovich-Nadal match.

    I’m almost not crazy.

  26. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    Also, toward the end of that fifth set, I was just wanting it to end. It was like waiting to watch someone die, and I just wanted it to be over, and I didn’t care who won.

  27. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Did that help you know whether to root for the Giants or Patriots?

  28. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    You know . . . I was just typing ” . . . but that doesn’t help you decide whether to root for the Giants or the Patriots.”

  29. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    I know what to do! Ask Jasper.

  30. Dave Vogt on February 5th, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Giants, I think.

    I’m on my way to a kosher super bowl party. Wish me luck!

  31. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Bless you, Dave. Bless you.

  32. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Dave? What are you bringing to the party?

  33. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Is it possible to root for neither team, and still enjoy the game? I guess it’s the same situation I found myself in five years ago.

  34. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Did you enjoy the game five years ago?

  35. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Deron? Listen. Go with the chowder you think you’d prefer.

  36. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    I didn’t perceive the Patriots as cheating douchebags at that point. I did enjoy the David Tyree catch. That was a good one.

  37. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I remember that catch. It was good.

    Look, buddy. I’m thinking you’d best root for the Giants.

    Right?

  38. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    In other news, my Chicago friend Alison reports that “right now the train is filled with people taking chips and seven-layer dip from their place to another place. It’s a city-wide chip swap jamboree.”

  39. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    I don’t think I can. WWJD?

  40. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    Make a load of loaves and fishes and turn water into wine and PAR-TAY!

  41. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Okay, how about you let your hate-light shine and wish doom on both teams and see what happens?

    Maybe sit tight and let Madonna decide.

  42. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Let Madonna’s cock be the light.

  43. Michael Grant Smith on February 5th, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Football’s the pointy one, right?

  44. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    Shine on. Glimmering nacho cheese.

  45. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    The one with all the collisions. And the pointy ball.

  46. Michael Grant Smith on February 5th, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Are we talking about football or Madonna?

  47. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    Yes.

  48. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    Chowder.

  49. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    Fuck it. I’m rooting for the Giants.

  50. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    There you go.

  51. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    I guess my love of the NFC won out. Plus the aesthetic superiority of the Giants’ uniform.

  52. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    When in doubt, go with aesthetic superiority.

  53. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    Indianapolis!

  54. Erica Braverman on February 5th, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    I’m sad that I finally begin to enjoy football and neither of the teams I like are playing. At least my dad made crab dip. I made a cast-iron skillet pizza. I have enough to share.

  55. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    Cast-iron skillet pizza! Want!

  56. Erica Braverman on February 5th, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    Shelia, I was afraid of my mom’s skillet until the most recent issue of Martha Stewart offered up a how to with pizza. Divine. Much more divine than Cool Ranch Doritos.

  57. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    I love cast iron. Doritos are nasty. All Doritos.

  58. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Yes, Doritos. Nasty.

  59. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Cornbread. Cast-iron skillet.

  60. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Doritos. Foul. Whether endorsed by Great Danes or not.

  61. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Cat killing Danes.

  62. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Let Madonna’s cock be the light.

  63. Erica Braverman on February 5th, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Oh I’ll be trying out cornbread next. Anyone got a favorite recipe?

  64. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    I bet Cece has a good recipe. Or Miss Nell does. None of that sweet Yankee cornbread.

  65. Erica Braverman on February 5th, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    I want to cook with Miss Nell. I’m sure she has my dream gravy recipe. Maybe she can teach me how to make a decent batch of collards.

  66. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    Miss Nell has probably got her a YouTube channel devoted to Cooking with Miss Nell.

  67. Michael Smith on February 5th, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    Hey, who won?

  68. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    Dude, I’m just about to ring the doorbell.

  69. Michael Smith on February 5th, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    I’ll go find some pants.

  70. Michael Smith on February 5th, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    Also, after 3 bowls, I feel like I can finally say that this chili is fucking delicious.

  71. Carole Corlew on February 5th, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    I just took a break from watching season one of Downton Abbey on Hulu. I think I must have smelled cornbread. Anyway, I make a fancy cornbread with a can of creamed corn, sour cream and jalapenos. I also have another recipe that adds sausage and black eyed peas, sort of a full meal cornbread (well, add a salad). Southerners love the food mixing thing, casseroles, etc.

    But I just do these to overcompensate because I can’t match Miss Nell’s, the best cornbread. It is very plain, not one grain of sugar as Shelia says, made with buttermilk. She bakes it in an iron skillet and does that flipping thing, which gives a nice crust on both sides.

    Miss Nell would start her cooking shows with, “Now as everyone knows I hate to cook so let’s get started and get out of this kitchen.”

  72. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    ‘Cause Miss Nell’s got things to do.

  73. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    I would really like to try Michael Smith’s vegetarian chili.

  74. Carole Corlew on February 5th, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    Erica, Miss Nell doesn’t do gravy, never did. When we wanted gravy and things drowned in butter, chocolate meringue pies and the like we had to visit our friends and relatives. She has a few “good” dishes like cornbread, but she was an odd bird who would bring home things from a health food store run by Seventh Day Adventists. Nutritional yeast is something I remember (and I actually put that on popcorn to this day).

    The gravy I remember is my friend Cyn’s mother’s white milk gravy. We would stay up all night trying to contact aliens and get them to land in Cyn’s yard and the like. And in the morning the mom would fry up sausage and whip up the gravy using the grease plus the crumbled up sausage. I know it sounds bad but that was flat out delicious gravy, poured over hot buttered biscuits. Then we’d go sleep for about two days.

  75. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    Carole, biscuits with sausage gravy is just about the best coda to a night of waiting for space aliens that I can possibly imagine.

  76. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    Also: Carole Corlew, you are a bird!

  77. Carole Corlew on February 5th, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    That’s right Shelia, Miss Nell is very busy. She was putting up collard greens yesterday. Somebody brought “a mess” of them to her. A mess of collard greens, I wonder where that term originated. She turns 92 this month and still rushing around, no time to relax.

  78. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Robert Benchley once wrote a column titled “Isn’t It Remarkable?”, poking fun at newspaper features in that vein. “Isn’t Grandpa remarkable? Eight-two years old and keeps up with all the news every day.”

    Well, Benchley wondered, if Grandpa wasn’t interested in the news at age eighty-two, when was he likely to be?

    Makes me think of Miss Nell. I mean, if she’s not busy now, when is she going to get busy?

    I am pondering the application of her attitude to my own life.

  79. Carole Corlew on February 5th, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Shelia, I came by it naturally, from Miss Nell, the queen of birds.

    I have this irrational but still there fear that one day a flying saucer will land and an alien’s voice will ring out, “We got here as soon as we could. What is it already?”

  80. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    Oh, man. Maybe a flying saucer landed during halftime.

  81. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    Calling out to Michael Smith: The gist of, if not a strict recipe for, your vegetarian chili?

  82. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    Also: Deron? There you have it.

  83. Carole Corlew on February 5th, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    There’s no halftime in Downton Abbey.

  84. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Sheila, it was a good game, but I don’t feel good about it. Cowboys 2012!

  85. Carole Corlew on February 5th, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    I ate lefttover pimento cheese finger sandwiches from my tea party yesterday. I make delicious pimento cheese and we’re not talking that strange stuff in a jar. Most of my guests had never eaten “real” pimento cheese. It was a hit. I got requests for the recipe but it is one of those “some of this, a bunch of that” recipes.

  86. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    Oh, don’t get me started. Bauman!

  87. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Real pimento cheese — oh, yes!

  88. Erica Braverman on February 5th, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Carole, my cooking buddy taught me proper gravy last weekend, so I think I could use a Miss Nell’s collard lesson. I promise to drive her places at the speed of light.

  89. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    Driving Miss Nell — at the Speed of Light!

  90. Deron Bauman on February 5th, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    Ryan!

  91. Rick Neece on February 5th, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    Oh, Cece. Sheila! I wont to eat NOW. Crusty cornbread, no sweet. Buttermilk. Y’all make the world.

  92. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    I want pimento cheese finger sandwiches.

  93. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    Bauman!

  94. Rick Neece on February 5th, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    We ate Danny’s lasagna and toasty garlic bread watching a BBC show I can’t remember the name of now. I’m stuffed, but I think I have room for a dessert of crusty cornbread and buttermilk. Might set me right for the night. I think it might help my digestion.

  95. Rick Neece on February 5th, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    I have the world of a kitchen to clean up now. Or in the morning.

  96. Rick Neece on February 5th, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    I’m not bitchin’ neither.

  97. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    Cleaning up a kitchen is good work.

  98. Erica Braverman on February 5th, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    Rick, were you watching Downton Abbey? I have a quart of buttermilk you can take off my hands.

  99. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    A quart of buttermilk!

  100. Rick Neece on February 5th, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    It wasn’t Downton Abbey, Erica, my dear, though we’ve been watching DA. It was an oldish BBC show about a psychologist, detective who can “see” the aspect of the murderer and the victim at the same time. I tried to Google. I still can’t come up with the name. I’m full. I’m going to bed.

  101. Sheila Ryan on February 5th, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    And may next week be better than this nasty nasty week just past.

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