April 5, 2012

Snapshots from your orientation for child custody mediation

One of the few people there without visible tattoos

a 2 hour video filmed in the 80s, painfully relaying information that could’ve been put on a single sheet of paper, bad actors answering obvious questions: what is mediation, what if i cant get along with my ex-wife? The most heartbreaking nugget of advice to not strike or scream at the other parent during your mediation.

A ten minute break to go feed the (2 hr max) meters outside the courthouse.

The goth chick in the front row with sleeve tattoos from wrist to shoulder, still wearing both rings. Looking more sad than goth, despite her elaborate makeup.

The black grandmother in the back with her (18? 20?yo son) asking lots of questions while her son remained silent

The perverse combination of drivers ed/jury duty, with your marriage being ripped to shreds

The guy who was clearly in a multi-year saga who called the second mediator to talk to us “a cunt” under his breath.

Three fanny packs???

The guy who alternated between snoring asleep on the table and reading his bible.

The final 45 minute video – talking head interviews with children of divorced parents, narrated by an adult female talking in persona child of divorce. “Don’t use us as spies.”


  1. Sheila Ryan on April 5th, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    Court-ordered evaluations involving Rorschach tests.

  2. Dave Vogt on April 6th, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Sort of like Rorschach tests, except it’s a blurry tattoo sleeve.

  3. Robert Ledgerwood on April 6th, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Please, tell us how you feel about visible tattoos.