June 26, 2012

Cats that I made using only MY MIND!

It’s true. AND: I did it in a dream the premise of which was: THIS IS NOT A DREAM.

You know how you have those dreams? Those other dreams? You realize, “Wait! This is a DREAM!”

This was not like that. THIS IS NOT A DREAM was the foundation of the dream.

SO: I was seeing cats that no one else could see. And I sought to PROVE that no one else could see these cats, these cats I was seeing in what was NOT A DREAM.

I called people into the room where I saw a cat. I pointed directly at the cat that I saw and asked, “Do you see a cat there?”

No one saw a cat there. But this was NOT A DREAM, this dream.

More cats came. No one else saw the cats, and I grew accustomed to seeing the cats that no one else saw.

It began to get funny when the cats that I saw showed that they were hungry. I began to worry that if I dished out real food in what was NOT A DREAM to cats that no one else saw, it might mean that I had gone mad.

This was a TRUE DREAM.

When I awoke, I remembered my TRUE DREAM and how within my TRUE DREAM my dream was NOT A DREAM.

And then I read the TRUE NEWS and the first story I read (THIS IS TRUE) was about how scientists built a neural network of 16,000 computer processors with one billion connections and how it had taught itself to recognize cats.

“We never told it during the training, ‘This is a cat,’” said Google fellow Dr. Jeff Dean. “It basically invented the concept of a cat.”

This is a TRUE STORY.

posted by in animals, categories, consciousness, dreams, information architecture, mental health, metaphysics, my goddamn "conspiracies" category, mystery, news, no shit, non-anecdotes, science, software, technology, translation | * | 11 comments 

comments

  1. Joel Bernstein on June 26th, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    I had a dream about zombies.

  2. Sheila Ryan on June 27th, 2012 at 12:18 am

    I had a dream about the King of Sweden. He gave me things that I was needin’.

  3. Michael Grant Smith on June 27th, 2012 at 7:28 am

    When you WAKE UP, you should post the story of your TRUE DREAM on the INTERNET.

  4. SC on June 27th, 2012 at 9:34 am

    …74.8 percent accuracy when identifying cats…

    Did you get a glimpse of the leftovers? Otters? Hamsters? Cat women?

  5. Sheila Ryan on June 27th, 2012 at 10:06 am

    MGS, I do even better! I use SOCIAL MEDIA! I TWEET on TWITTER and use a HASHTAG!

  6. Sheila Ryan on June 27th, 2012 at 10:07 am

    SC, what is left over is everything that is NOT A CAT!

  7. SC on June 27th, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Where are my cats? I’m surrounded by NOT A CAT. Statistically speaking, I should be be seeing CATS any minute now. Maybe I’m doing something wrong?

  8. Sheila Ryan on June 27th, 2012 at 10:20 am

    SC, check to see whether you are having a DREAM or whether THIS IS NOT A DREAM.

  9. Sheila Ryan on June 27th, 2012 at 10:24 am

    And yes, I did used to have one of those T-shirts with “Schrödinger’s cat is dead” on the front and “Schrödinger’s cat is not dead” on the back. That was before all those other Schrödinger’s cat T-shirts ruined it.

  10. SC on June 27th, 2012 at 10:46 am

    …a DREAM or whether THIS IS NOT A DREAM…

    How do I tell?

  11. Joel Bernstein on June 27th, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    I knew Sheila’s dream reminded me of something: