dear clusterflock

What do you recommend?

My week so far has stunk big-time. So I formed a plan.

Many things lie outside my control, I know, but my skull is my own. I am going to drill a hole in my skull into which I will pour something refreshing. And I will be a new and improved me no matter what Fate, that saucy trickster, has up her sleeve.

Citrus-infused fizzy water is a possibility. Do you recommend anything else I might pour into the hole I drill in my skull?

11 thoughts on “dear clusterflock

  1. Casey Cichowicz

    I’m sorry to hear it. I recommend finding a friend to help with the trepanning, as I often pass out before I can get anything refreshing in there, and wake up even more stressed.

  2. Sheila Ryan Post author

    Years ago, a pre-med student in Madison got it into his head to operate on himself in his dorm room in an effort to quell disturbing sexual feelings. (I have no idea.) He did pretty well till he began to retract this own liver. That’s where he seemed to have been when he passed out.

  3. Sheila Ryan Post author

    Maybe I’ll toss in a handful of Pop Rocks and follow up with a wad of Black Cat Ladycrackers. If I wind up with a hangover, there’s always Alka-Seltzer.

  4. Sheila Ryan Post author

    A squirt of mustard and a splash of vinegar do make everything better. Do wonders for my sorry limp brain.

  5. SC

    Do not drill holes in your head and put stuff in the hole.

    Don’t do that. How do you think the zombie plague started? Some off-brand energy drink irradiated at Fukushima and a couple of mentos is all it took.

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