dear clusterflock

Say, here’s an idea. What say we establish a bizarro clusterflock for hackers, extremists, and miscellaneous goofbuckets? SHOUTING! And the SWORD!

We could even make it user-friendly by modeling it on bilingual sites. You know, sites that offer you the GERMAN or the ENGLISH version.

Visitors to the bizarro clusterflock could opt, say, for the MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY-KRAZEE-CHRISTIAN version or the MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY-KRAZEE-MUSLIM version.

There are infinite variations.

25 thoughts on “dear clusterflock

  1. Sheila Ryan Post author

    Or as MGS put it in a private communique, a place for hackers to post their “rancid little rat-dreams.”

  2. Michael Grant Smith

    That was stated confidentially, Sheila. Those sweaty, null-pubescent Turkish warts are no doubt lounging in their mothers’ mildewed Turkish basements, sipping Turkish Mountain Dew from 2-liter bottles and monitoring our every word. I don’t want to antagonize the needle-dicked bugfuckers by letting them know how I feel about their hobby.

  3. Sheila Ryan Post author

    Yikes! Has my hot-headed breach of confidentiality triggered their heat-seeking hacker-missiles? What a maroon I am!

  4. Sheila Ryan Post author

    And yeah, I’m cool with the rest of Turkey. Turkey is way cool. Besides, it’s nobody’s business but the Turks’.

  5. Sheila Ryan Post author

    I once saw the coast of Turkey from the deck of a ferry en route from Patmos to Rhodes. In the rosy-fingered dawn, even. It looked pretty cool. I’m still wanting to go there.

  6. Sheila Ryan Post author

    Bless you, Ricky Cameron. I was fixing to post the version by The Residents, but this is a good’un. Thank you, hon.

  7. Daryl Scroggins

    Seems odd that Turkish hackers would be so interested in Clusterflock. Maybe all the sword crap is just cover for some other ill wisher.

  8. Sheila Ryan Post author

    I dunno, Daryl. Just before the latest assault, we were up to daily stats of as close to 2,000 as makes no difference. That’s a heap.

  9. Sheila Ryan Post author

    Also, speaking of hack turkeys, four turkeys came up to watch as a friend gave my car a jump yesterday.

  10. Derek White

    Were turkeys ever in the running as Clusterflock mascot? My mom had a turkey once that i named Istanbul. It had this thing for me, there could be dozens of people around, but he would always single me out & ruffle his feathers making that creepy noise courting turkeys make. I could change my clothes, take a shower, wear a mask, but he still would always single me out. Until one day the postman came down the driveway & ran him over.

  11. Sheila Ryan Post author

    I’m seeing young Derek, clean as a whistle, masked and disguised in a sibling’s clothing, fleeing the advances of a persistent fowl.

  12. Sheila Ryan

    Maybe it was a pre-emptive strike, Derek, intended to soften your feelings so you would plead for mercy on the turkey’s behalf.

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