December 7, 2012

Them Gideons

I once substituted a copy of Leonard’s Pagan Babies for a Gideon-placed King James edition. True story.


  1. Sheila Ryan on December 7th, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Since the living would no longer enter the church, Fr. Terry Dunn heard confessions in the yard of the rectory, in the shade of old pines and silver eucalyptus trees.

    “Bless me, Fatha, for I have sin. It has been two months from the last time I come to Confession. Since then I am fornicating with a woman from Gisenyi three times only and this is all I have done.”

    They would seem to fill their mouths with the English words, pro-nounc-ing each one carefully, with an accent Terry believed was heard only in Africa. He gave fornicators ten Our Fathers and ten Hail Marys, murmured what passed for an absolution while the penitent said the Act of Contrition, and dismissed them with a reminder to love God and sin no more.

    “Bless me, Fatha, for I have sin. Is a long time since I come here but is not my fault, you don’t have Confession always when you say. The sin I did, I stole a goat from close by Nyundo for my family to eat. My wife cook it en brochette and also in a stew with potatoes and peppers.”

  2. Michael Grant Smith on December 7th, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Goat mixed grill.

  3. Sheila Ryan on December 7th, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    It’s pretty good when Fr. Terry Dunn commences to drift about the goddamned tiny little bones in goat meat.