January 27, 2013
I shouldn’t take it personally but I can’t help it. I’m not intolerant, but if he doesn’t stop that damned sneezing I will crush his larynx. Everybody sneezes. I do sometimes. But this guy sounds like a Quentin Tarantino movie. How can you sneeze like that and not hurt yourself? Imagine sitting in an office and hearing this every fifteen minutes for eight hours, day after day: four sharp reports of staccato gunfire combined with a wheezy whistle and a semi-articulate “a-HN!” that makes it sound approximately human. Almost of this world. Maybe he’s not really sneezing. Satan’s dog is barking at me. I miss my family.