What’s the opposite of teambuilding?

I shouldn’t take it personally but I can’t help it. I’m not intolerant, but if he doesn’t stop that damned sneezing I will crush his larynx. Everybody sneezes. I do sometimes. But this guy sounds like a Quentin Tarantino movie. How can you sneeze like that and not hurt yourself? Imagine sitting in an office and hearing this every fifteen minutes for eight hours, day after day: four sharp reports of staccato gunfire combined with a wheezy whistle and a semi-articulate “a-HN!” that makes it sound approximately human. Almost of this world. Maybe he’s not really sneezing. Satan’s dog is barking at me. I miss my family.

12 thoughts on “What’s the opposite of teambuilding?

  1. Sheila Ryan

    What I’m good at are these filthy dirty coughing fits like the ones that seize old hoboes and rummies. Rasping barks that accelerate till machine-gun paroxysms take hold. Followed by a coda: gurgles and near-retching.

    The way I see it is this: A good coughing spell needn’t always end in expectoration, but it’s a satisfying conclusion to the event.

  2. Sheila Ryan

    Uh, MGS? I’m thinking it’s probably a good thing I’m, like, five hundred miles away and not sharing an office with you.

  3. rick neece

    Sneezing is the one perfect place we show up in the world. We don’t control it. It shows up. Sometimes with snot.

  4. Sheila Ryan

    I kinda thought it was a made-up story, but you know, I’m like the guy in the Ganesh Versus the Third Reich promo. I don’t always understand what is fiction and what is not.

  5. Sheila Ryan

    “The one perfect place we show up in the world.” That’s so good, Rick. “We don’t control it.”

    Late last night — not real real late, but maybe 1:00 or 1:30, I got into an interesting conversation about the sphincter muscle and its anomalies.

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