February 9, 2013

I cannot deny myself these good things

Everyone needs a manifesto.

In a perfect world, cheese would have a mild laxative effect.

I became tired of losing the TV remote. It’s now up my butt. Watch me change channels.

Shhh. I’m not listening to the talking you make.

I enjoy driving very quickly even though I’m not in a hurry and don’t know what I’m doing.

If I put one back, how will I know I’ve had too much?

I’m obsessed with my butt so that you don’t have to be.

Whenever I step up to the podium, I’m talking to myself while a crowd listens.

I sleep harder than a basket of kittens.

People around me are beginning to realize I’m all I want.

posted by in animals in pants, announcements, aphorisms, assholes, fuck all y'all, hi guys, love, relationships, self-help, you're welcome | * | 3 comments 

comments

  1. rick neece on February 9th, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    I cannot deny myself your good things. Hi Kathy!
    XOR

  2. Kathy Hilen-Smith on February 10th, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Hi Rick! I’m sitting here with a banana on my head thinking of you– Happy Sunday!

  3. rick neece on February 10th, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Smootches to you and MGS.