I cannot deny myself these good things

Everyone needs a manifesto.

In a perfect world, cheese would have a mild laxative effect.

I became tired of losing the TV remote. It’s now up my butt. Watch me change channels.

Shhh. I’m not listening to the talking you make.

I enjoy driving very quickly even though I’m not in a hurry and don’t know what I’m doing.

If I put one back, how will I know I’ve had too much?

I’m obsessed with my butt so that you don’t have to be.

Whenever I step up to the podium, I’m talking to myself while a crowd listens.

I sleep harder than a basket of kittens.

People around me are beginning to realize I’m all I want.

3 thoughts on “I cannot deny myself these good things

Comments are closed.