February 20, 2013

I got road-raged by a nun.

As if driving through Middletown isn’t scary enough. It was like Duel, but more horrifying because there she was!  The driver–one of those Appalachian dried apple dolls in a habit with one wiry hand on the steering wheel, a crooked nose and feral determined staring eyes peering over the dash of a massive white Crown Vic. That’s what loomed in my rear-view mirror, but the side views were BOOM left headlight, BOOM right headlight, BOOM left headlight… she was all over me like a cop.  I’m talking nice residential area here, but girlfriend was in a hurry and I was in her way.

After a couple miles of this, she turned into the parking lot of the First Presbyterian Church.  I spect somebody in there got their ass kicked.


  1. Sheila Ryan on February 20th, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    Reminds me of when I visited a friend and former boss in San DIego. A tart-tongued Australian woman who warned me, “Little Asian ladies are death-on-wheels.”

  2. Michael Grant Smith on February 20th, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    She probably had a trunk full of rulers. I pity those Presbyterians.

  3. Erica Braverman on February 20th, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Oh this made me laugh. I was picturing Sister Cecilia from my Catholic high school days driving, and I realized I don’t think she drove.

  4. Michael Grant Smith on February 20th, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    I think they were all named Sister Cecilia.

  5. Erica Braverman on February 20th, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    MGS, I think you’re right as I can’t remember any of the other nuns’ names.