May 2, 2013

The best thing you’ll read today about junk food.

“We knew this was a breakthrough idea, so we put on our relentless hats and were determined to not let [this thing] beat us.”

“I mean, it was actually important that we left the orange dusting on your fingers because otherwise, we’re not delivering the genuine Doritos [experience].”

“I remember trying to sell guacamole in the Midwest and people were like, ‘What’s all this green stuff in my burrito?'”

“We realized we needed more capacity, because we couldn’t slow down the Nacho Cheese line in order to create capacity for Cool Ranch.”

“In fact, the companies ended up creating a proprietary seasoner in the process, not least because for workers on the manufacturing line, the plumes of Doritos seasoning would create an almost Nacho Cheese gas chamber.”


  1. Sheila Ryan on May 9th, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Last night I dreamt of “nacho cheese” lava. True story. True dream-story, anyways.