A Smut Story
Dear Popular Mechanics,
I’ve enjoyed the reader letters in your magazine since first sneaking a peak at your pages as a boy, but I never thought that one day I would write in with an unbelievable story of my own.
What I did on summer vacation.
Over the summer, I published this little piece of fiction over at Microhorror.com.
I don’t think many folks saw it.
Enjoy.
Marc Maron
You ever hated yourself so much you had to take a nap?
Up from underground.
Just checking in to say I haven’t checked out.
Cute.
Juked just rejected four of my poems because they were too “cute.”
Have people been saying this kind of thing behind my back? I need to know.
Phenomenal news
Tuesday, May 1, Springboard for the Arts and mnartists.org are hosting “Becoming an
Internet Phenomenon,” a free workshop/panel discussion at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis.
I have been asked to serve on the panel.
I can imagine being asked to leave the Walker, but to appear there…?
I’m going on tour.
Yours truly.
This is, I’ve decided, the best picture I’ve ever taken.
Credit to my co-worker, Nick Zdon, who snapped it.
S.A.D.
If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.
If you don’t like the weatherman, wait five months.
Miss Minnesota
I entered a chapbook contest today. This is not something I ordinarily do.
Goodwill (The Revision)
The list of errands
I found in the pocket
of this new thrift-store
shirt
should keep me busy.
I’m not poor
or hurt. I would know.
I bought it (just $1.44)
because
I’ve got nothing better
to do
with my time.
Goodwill
The list of errands
I found in the pocket
of this thrift-store shirt
should keep me busy
for a few years.
That’s fine with me.
I’ve got nothing
else to do.
People
Thousands of years ago, people didn’t read tabloid magazines. Or so say archeologists.
Heaven (is an expensive place to stay)
Wrapped in that white hotel bathrobe
she looked like a child
of God
devouring
two room service hamburgers.
Brian’s Optimism vs. Kottke’s and Daryl’s
Against my own better judgment I will admit to optimism about the fact that how we perceive ourselves and how we are perceived by others are not, in any way, related. We’re never as transparent as we fear, which means there is always an opportunity to transform our shit when we get tired of living with it. That freedom is more powerful than holiday blues, seasonal depression and birthday anxiety put together.
Well
My psychiatrists all say I’m neither crazy nor hypochondriacal.
I’ve been thinking.
The truth is whatever you choose to believe.
Eyes. Ears. Ego?
I haven’t been writing or performing comedy lately (I’ve not been feeling particularly literate or funny), but I have been spending more time with my first artistic love: music.
I’ve been listening and playing a lot in recent weeks. Last weekend I purchased a guitar for no other reason than that it looked and sounded like it already belonged to me.
Greenland
Another thing: David Lowery of the bands Camper Van Beethoven and Cracker may be one of our best practicing songwriters. As evidence, I recommend Cracker’s latest CD, Greenland.
Knock Knock
“Being funny is a means of avoiding scrutiny. It’s a deeply concealing activity that invites attention while simultaneously failing to offer any detailed account of oneself. The reason humor is so popular today is that it provides the comfort of intimacy without the horror of actually being intimate.” — Andrew Stott to Peter Hyman
Meet the Flockers: Brian Beatty
Writer. Comedian. Dude with a beard.
We Jam Econo!
The subtitle of this documentary is “The Story of The Minutemen,” but that’s considerably underdoing it. It’s a film about so much more than music — or even one band, no matter how important their influence. It’s a film about what it means to make art and live life and get old without regret, none of which is easy.
Consolation
The New Yorker didn’t like the piece I submitted for the Shouts & Murmurs pages. But they do like my jokes at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. I would have liked it if they’d written a $1,000 check to show me how much they like my jokes. Or liked.
TV
I would make a better transvestite than you probably imagine. Right now, for instance, I’m dressed as the butchest lesbian you’ve ever seen. If you were here with me, you would have to agree.
Beer Advertising
“Is it just me, or is it finally the weekend?”