Author Archives: Christopher Walken

About Christopher Walken

I am Christopher Walken, promoter of cow bell.

No Layout Store

No Layout launches the first online bookstore that doesn’t take any commission on sales. With a solid audience built over the last year with our digital library, we are now exposing publications in our store to hundreds of thousands of visitors who can buy directly from the publishers.

Garden of Olives

In one of the square states this past week we dined in an Olive Garden on purpose. The Olive Garden is democratic for the most part which is to say that each and every one of us carries around a latent hub cap for a half an hour while avoiding eye contact with people such as myself.

You can drink wine while you’re doing this but the people such as myself are still there and we’ll find you anyway.

“Make the most of whatever Hell you’re wearing.”

Cecil told me that in college. He was right about that and other stuff.

He’s still dead but dead don’t make you wrong.

I met a lovely Native American woman with blood tatoos on her arms. She’s a storyteller.

“In my tribe these lines get longer with generations because we drift farther from the truth,” she said, indicating the glorious ink on her hands and wrists.

“Beautiful,” I told her.

“It’s my destiny to carry the stories of the tribe until I can no longer bear them,” she explained.

“And then?” I asked.

“And then the tribe forgives me and moves on to a new storyteller.”

Feels familiar.

The hub cap buzzes to life – lights blink and children applaud.


“Very nice to meet you Mary,” I told her. “Don’t fill up on the bread sticks – a little white man secret.”

She laughed. “It’s no secret,” she said.

Well then.

Dirge – a lewd Dorothy Parker poem

The way we were became a tale
To caution would-be lovers.
A shroud, a veil, a pallid pall
Replaced our common covers.

Every ride down every street’s
A funeral procession.
An icy grip is every slip
Of your name as it’s mentioned.

The blackbirds in the garden
Sing a misérable chanson.
Oh how I miss the way my lips
Wrapped right around your johnson.

More here.

300 Disturbia Are We Done Yes Zodiac Hot Fuzz Adult Movies & Toys

When my father saw these photos, he said “That intersection [It’s maybe a mile from his house.] was all empty until the hurricane. After Katrina, a bunch of closed businesses reopened with people and stock from Mississippi. I think that video store might used to have been over in Gulf Port, somewhere along there, and it got flooded and they brought the stock here. It’s better than what was there. Those mobile home businesses at that intersection all got busted for Internet gambling and prostitution and they were just sitting there with Sheriff’s tape all over them until the hurricane.”