According to Wordle
From the fine folks at Wordle.net.
How dare he?
Is it just me or does any one else think Giuliani has spent his time equally divided between laughing at his audience and explaining black and white?
kinky or what……
A question for the ladies.
If you found out that your husband had a thing for wearing women’s underwear what would you do?
A question for the men.
If you found out your mate was a bit of a cross dresser what would you do?
dear clusterflock,
What’s worth fighting for?
I used to know where I put things
I have one more shot, and then I’m retiring my Polaroid forever. What should it be?
Portishead
From their new album Third. It’s amazing!
For my friend Sheila.
Cake Wrecks, y’all
For Sheila (for Kathy), Cake Wrecks - When Professional Cakes Go Horribly, Hilariously Wrong
Yours,
Mr. Pride
It really makes a whole lot more sense now.
I told you not to eat all the Raisinets.
Have you seen my Doral Menthol Light Cigarettes?
R.I.P Nagasaki
His left hand points to the direction of the blast and his right hand points to where death came from.
63 years ago today Nagasaki burned and 75,000 people perished with one bomb.
The new “is the new”
The phrase blank is the new blank as in “chocolate is the new vanilla” or “ugly is the new pretty” has gotten a little tired lately. What is the new is the new?
Ideas: Candelabras oust chandeliers, Beanless burritos usurp the mantle of burritos with beans.
What are your suggestions?
Schoolboys and farting
I was perusing my favourite dictionary this morning while doing 300 crunches to make my abs look awesome, and came across this gem:
randle (răn’dəl) - n. a nonsensical poem recited by Irish schoolboys as an apology for farting at a friend.
What a cool freaking word! So I immediately postponed my crunches and consulted my OED to find out more… but nothing. Nothing more on the internet either—just amateur dictionaries that have the same definition word for word.
RATS! I want to know if the nonsense poem has specific words or any nonsensical uttering will do. Am I allowed to rip one into the face of my good pal and then recite Jabberwocky and everything will be hunky-dory again? Also, why would this randle placate the poor feller who has just been farted upon? It would have to be a pretty awesome poem to keep me from wailing on my assailant.
Award Winning Li[tt]l[e] General Mini Golf
Play on an 18 Hole Championship Miniature Golf Course, complete with a cascading waterfall, rapids, streams, a fountain and beautiful landscaping!
Located next To The Palace Campgrounds, only 2 Miles West Of Galena On Hwy. 20, we have a game arcade with food and drink concessions. We’re open 10am - 10pm daily from April through November, weather permitting. For more info call (815) 777-6911.
Clusterflock’s Civil War
Robert E. Lee
Posthumous awards
A bit of absurd bureaucracy that I thought that I would pass on. It seems that George Washington was posthumously awarded the invented rank of 6 star general in 1976. From Wikipedia:
After World War II, which saw the introduction of U.S. “5-star” officers who outranked Washington, both Congress and the President revisited the issue of Washington’s rank. To maintain George Washington’s proper position as the first Commanding General of the United States Army, he was appointed, posthumously, to the grade of General of the Armies of the United States by congressional joint resolution.
General Memories
What? You thought we’d take that lying down?
My mom, the iPod and genericide
My mom, quite unintentionally, is waging a one woman genericide war on the iPod. Not only does she refer to all media players as iPods but she calls ANY small electronic gadget an iPod. Cellphones, PDA’s, calculators and remote controls are all iPods as far as she is concerned.
Six degrees of separation
A US study of text messages suggests the theory that we are all linked six steps to anyone else may be right — though seven seems more accurate.
Booze and Cards
Speaking of double entendre….
A guy walks into a bar and says:
“Bartender, I’d like to see about a drink and a friendly card game. Mind pointing me in the right direction?”
Bartender says:
“Sure, buddy. Liquor in the front. Poker in the rear.”
Succinct
Baby seal walks into a club.
joke
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
Tell a Joke (NSFW)
A priest and a minister go golfing.
On the first hole, the priest goes to putt, and the ball narrowly misses the hole, so he says “Shit, fuck, damn! I missed!” The minister, stunned, looks to the priest and says “There’s no need for that kind of language.”
On the next hole, the priest once again narrowly misses, and, again, he says “Shit, fuck, damn! I missed!” The minister says “I don’t think the Lord would appreciate that kind of language.” The priest shrugs him off and says “If God doesn’t like it, he can strike me dead.”
On the next hole, the priest once again misses, and, again, he says “Shit, fuck, damn! I missed!”
All of a sudden, the clouds roll in, the skies get dark, and a bolt of lightning comes down and strikes the minister dead. Then a loud, booming voice comes from the sky saying, “Shit, fuck, damn! I missed!”
Old
A women walks into a bar and asks the guy behind the counter for a double entendre.
So the bartender gives her one.
Tell a Joke, II
A woman visited her doctor about a bee sting that she got while golfing. The doctor inquired where she was stung. “Between the first and second hole,” said the woman.
Replied the doc, “You must have a really wide stance.”
From the mouths of babes
As the balloon lifts and drifts between watchers and the late sun
The children gather and wave - eyes full of wonder and hope.
“See ya fuckers!” they sing.
And all is well with the world.
And all is good.